


Touch Me, It's So Easy to Know Me

by Hhisim828



Series: Touch Me [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Consent, Cussing, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Homophobic Language, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Slow Burn, Therapy, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26188327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hhisim828/pseuds/Hhisim828
Summary: Tony is doing his best to get his life together. He stopped drinking, he's going to therapy, he's getting better. Now if he can just get past the fact that he's terrified of people touching him...
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Touch Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916848
Comments: 37
Kudos: 222





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is literally my first ever post here on AO3. Please be gentle. No beta, just me, so sorry in advance.  
> No idea how many chapters this will be. More characters/tags will be added as I go. Rating may change as well.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Tony hated when people touched him without consent. When he was a kid, his father would occasionally drink too much and smack him around whenever he was too loud, or whenever he was in Howard’s way at the wrong time. When he was kidnapped in the Middle East, they cut him open then inserted a magnet hooked to a car battery in his chest. Obadiah paralyzed him then ripped the arc reactor out of his chest, and all Tony could do was watch in horror. When fans want to take pictures with him, they always crowd too close, which never fails to freak him out. Every fan picture on the Internet shows him wearing sunglasses so no one could see the fear in his eyes.  
Over time the other Avengers learned he wasn’t a big fan of hugs or even platonic touches, unless initiated by him first. During team movie nights they all made sure he was sitting in an armchair so there wasn’t any chance of him getting crowded and squished on the couch.  
What no one on the team realized, what he was sure to keep between himself and his therapist, was that Tony desperately missed touching people. He longed to cuddle up with someone at night, hold hands while watching a movie with the team, be kissed goodnight and held while he fell asleep. But he knew he couldn’t do any of that without having a massive panic attack. His playboy persona only continued for as long as it did by the fact that his binge drinking kept the panic attacks at bay. Couldn’t freak out about someone holding you too tight if you’re so drunk your body is numb. 

He’s been sober for 2 years now. He’s started therapy. It’s been 2 of the absolute hardest years of his life. But at least he doesn’t feel like his liver is going to fall out of his body anymore. Therapy is helping, but it’s slow going. As someone who is used to working at things for hours, or days, at a time, nonstop until a solution is met, the slowness is positively killing him. 

“This is all going to take time, Tony. There isn’t an instant cure to trauma. But you are making amazing progress so far!” His therapist, Marcia, tells him this week.  
It’s the end of their session; this is usually when he’s given “homework” of sorts.  
“I’d like you to try something this week. You miss touching people, so I’d like for you to try touching someone. A hug, a pat on the arm, or even sit next to someone during movie night instead of sitting alone. Whatever you’re comfortable trying. But take it slow. Don’t jolt your system too hard too fast. Can you try that?”  
Tony shrugged. “I guess so, yeah.”  
Inside, he was excited, but terrified. Who could he try this on? Who wouldn’t freak out or make a big deal about it if he hugged them? Does he even want to hug anyone? Would that be too much too soon?  
“I can see you panicking inside, Tony. You’re already overthinking this, aren’t you?” Marcia smiled kindly at him.  
Tony nodded slowly, feeling his cheeks heat slightly.  
“Take it slow, and you’ll get there. This isn’t something you should force just because you want to get it over with. Think about it for a while; figure out whom you’re most comfortable with. Maybe talk to that person about it first, if that’s easier for you? I know you can do this.”  
Marcia stands and Tony follows suit, nodding with a slow sigh. “I’ll try it. Thanks. Same time next week?”

Tony sat in the armchair during movie night; not paying any attention to the romcom that had been picked out for the evening. He was looking at the others, assessing who he would be least scared of trying to touch this week. God that sounded creepy in his head. How would he even go about asking one of them if he could touch them? “Hey, I know I’ve told you that the mere thought of hugging anyone is terrifying, but can I hug you anyway? My therapist says I should. Cool, thanks, just ignore the fact that I’m shaking uncontrollably, feel like I’m gonna puke, and might burst into tears.”  
Yeah, that sounds great.

Across the room, Bucky watched Tony pretend to watch the movie. 4 days ago was Tony’s therapy appointment. Tony wasn’t shy about the fact that he was in therapy, and everyone was supportive of his progress. But something had clearly been said at the appointment, judging by how Tony had been acting since he got back. He was watching everyone closely, almost analyzing what everyone was doing.  
Bucky caught Tony’s eye as Tony looked around the room for the umpteenth time at everyone. Bucky let his lips quirk up slightly, making Tony’s eyes widen before he looked away quickly, a slight flush creeping up his face at getting caught. Bucky smirked to himself and directed his attention back to the movie as Natasha nudged him and murmured a quiet joke about the couple on screen.

As everyone wandered off to bed with soft calls of “goodnight”, Bucky watched Tony again. He was still sitting in the armchair, staring unseeingly after everyone filing out, clearly lost in thought.  
“I’m tired. You heading to bed, Buck?” Steve asked as he stood up and stretched.  
“I’m right behind you, just gotta ask Tony something real quick.” Bucky replied, still watching Tony carefully.  
Steve nodded, heading toward the elevator.

Tony looked up, broken out of his thoughts when Bucky sat down on the loveseat nearby.  
“You okay? Seem distracted tonight.” Bucky smiled at Tony, trying to show he wasn’t prying.  
Tony nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’m just--I dunno. A lot to think about lately, I guess.”  
“Anything you wanna talk about?”  
Tony looked into Bucky’s eyes. “It’s…weird, I guess, is the best way to describe it?” He blushed and shrugged. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”  
Bucky chuckled quietly. “Hey, weird don’t scare me. And it obviously isn’t nothing, if you’re overthinking it as hard as I suspect you are. But I’m not gonna force you to talk about it.”  
Tony sighed softly, rubbing his hands over his face. “I—mytherapistwantsmetotrytohugsomeone!” The words fell out of his mouth in a rush. Tony leaned back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling. “And I wanna try it, cuz God knows I haven’t fucking hugged anyone in ages and apparently my therapist thinks I’m touch starved, which sounds about right honestly, but the thought of hugging someone scares the shit out of me. So I was like, hey, I could maybe hug someone on the team, but what if it gets weird and what if they think it’s an opening to just touch me whenever they want. Not that I really think any of you guys would do that but I just get stuck in this cycle and I just--“ Tony cuts himself off, realizing he had been rambling. He glanced over at Bucky, who was watching him curiously. “Sorry, you’re tired. We should head to bed.”  
“You’re fine, Tony. It sounds like you need to get this out.” Bucky moved his hand slightly, as though to reach out and touch the older man, but aborted the move quickly. Thankfully Tony didn’t notice.  
“I just don’t know what to do. I want to try this, but I don’t know how.” Tony sighed and slumped further in the chair.  
“You could try to hug me, if you want.” Bucky shrugged and smiled at Tony. “No pressure, and I promise I won’t try to hug you again unless you ask or initiate it first.”  
Tony looked over at Bucky, frowning slightly. “You—you don’t have to. I mean I’m not telling you this to make you think you have to help me. I just—“  
“I know that, doll. I want to. If you want to. That’s all. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to help.”  
Something lit up in Tony’s brain at the pet name “doll”, but he tried to ignore that for now. He slowly stood up and started to fidget slightly. “So, like, you wanna try this then?”  
Bucky stood up and faced Tony, smiling. “Whenever you’re ready, yeah.”  
“I might freak out. And panic. I’m sorry for that in advance.”  
“No need to apologize for that. I know far too much about freak-outs. Take your time.”  
They stood facing each other for several long moments. Tony inched closer and closer, avoiding eye contact and watching Bucky’s body language for any signals that Bucky wasn’t okay with this. He was also secretly looking for any chance that Bucky would try to grab him or force him closer.  
Bucky stayed completely still, watching Tony move. He was careful to make his body language as non-threatening as possible. He didn’t want to scare Tony off.  
After several agonizing minutes, Tony was less than 2 inches from Bucky’s chest. He could feel is heart racing, sweat was starting to pop up on his forehead. He took a deep breath and raised his arms uncertainly. “Ok, here we go.”  
Tony’s arms wrapped around Bucky’s shoulders, his whole body stiffening with fear. Bucky stayed relaxed, letting Tony lead.  
After a minute, Bucky murmured, “Tony, is it okay if I put my arms around you?”  
Tony, who had just started to relax, stiffened again. “Um, I--you, uh…”  
“No, no, it’s okay. I won’t. You’re okay, I promise.” Bucky mentally kicked himself for scaring the other man.  
Tony shook his head and cleared his throat. “No, it’s fine. I—I don’t mind. You can try it.”  
Carefully, Bucky wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, keeping his grip loose so Tony could easily escape if he needed to. “You okay?”  
Something in Tony’s mind clicked and he suddenly felt himself leaning more heavily against Bucky’s body. “Yeah. This is…really good.”  
Bucky smiled and adjusted his grip to better hold Tony’s body up. He slowly ran a hand across Tony’s back, just a small movement so as not to spook him.  
Tony leaned in further, turning his face to press gently into Bucky’s neck. God, why does he smell so good? He pressed his face in a bit more, sighing happily.  
Bucky did his best to not stiffen up at the sensation of Tony’s face nuzzling into his neck. He unconsciously tightened his arms around Tony’s waist.  
“How you feeling, doll?”  
Tony hummed thoughtfully. “Pretty fucking good. Which should be terrifying, but it isn’t.” His muscles started to tighten up. “Am I making this weird? Should we stop?”  
Bucky rubbed his back again, feeling Tony relax once more. “Only if you want to. But I promise you, it’s not weird.”

Neither man knew how long they stood there, embracing one another. Bucky’s legs were starting to go numb, but he ignored it. He wasn’t going to ruin this.  
Tony shifted slightly. “I can’t feel my feet. That might start to become an issue soon. But…,” he trailed off.  
“But..?” Bucky prompted gently.  
“But I…don’t really wanna stop hugging you. S-sorry…”  
“Hey, no need to apologize. If you’re enjoying this, that isn’t a bad thing. You tell me what you’d like to do. I don’t want your feet to fall off.”  
Tony pulled back slightly and Bucky saw he was blushing. “What if…we laid on the couch together? And like…cuddled?”  
Bucky lightly squeezed a hand against Tony’s ribs, smiling. He suddenly found himself overcome with the urge to kiss Tony. Where the fuck did that come from?  
“Of course we can, doll.”  
Tony pulled away and lay down on the couch, then immediately sat up. “I—uh. Can I…lie on top of you? That way if I, umm…”  
“If you need to get up, you can do so easily. I get it.” Bucky smiled and held his flesh hand out to Tony to help him up.  
Tony hesitated, and then took the offered hand.  
Bucky laid down, propping his head up on one of the throw pillows. “Whenever you’re ready, babe.”  
Tony flushed at the pet name. I shouldn’t like those names as much as I do. He carefully lay down on top of Bucky, wiggling around a bit to get comfortable. “Is this…okay? Am I too heavy? Am I crushing you?”  
“Sshh, doll, you’re fine. Super soldier, remember? I’m good.” Bucky grinned lazily up at Tony, once again resisting the urge to tug the other man forward for a kiss.  
Tony nodded, still unsure, but trying to relax again. He sighed quietly, resting his head on Bucky’s chest. Bucky carefully rested his hands on Tony’s back once more, feeling the notches of the older male’s spine under his fingers. He heard Tony sigh quietly, settling further into the warmth of Bucky’s body.  
“You comfortable?” Bucky asked, glancing down at the top of Tony’s head.  
Tony nodded, his cheek rubbing against the soft cotton of Bucky’s shirt. “Yeah, I think I’m good.”  
Bucky smiled and settled back against the pillow behind his head. He closed his eyes and focused on Tony’s slow breathing. 

Bucky’s eyes opened 30 minutes later. He had dozed off accidentally. He looked down at Tony and saw the man had fallen asleep, one hand holding tight to the front of Bucky’s shirt, his breathing deep and even. Bucky smiled to himself and carefully tugged the blanket off the back of the couch, laying it over Tony’s back.  
“G’night, Tony,” he whispered, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Tony’s forehead. He lay back against the pillow once more and allowed the quiet snores from the other man to lull him back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaat a second chapter in less than 24 hours?!?!?!?   
> Yeah, don't get too excited. This probably won't happen often, if ever again. I was overcome with ideas, is all. And had time to write em all down. I'm currently in school, so homework takes priority. Just warning you now.   
> Anyway, hope you like it!!

Tony woke up slowly, stretching his stiff limbs one by one. Man, I never thought my bed was this lumpy before; maybe I need a new mattress…   
He slowly opened his eyes, wondering why the living room TV was in his bedroom. The memories of the previous night came back to him in waves. Movie night with the others; talking to Bucky afterwards; admitting he was scared to do his “homework” for therapy; Bucky offering to help; hugging Bucky. Tony had hugged Bucky. And had really enjoyed the feeling. And now… Tony turned his head and looked at what, or rather who, he was lying on.   
Bucky was still asleep, breathing slow and deep, his face relaxed and peaceful in his slumber. Tony was shocked to find he wasn’t terrified of his current position. He could easily get away if he needed to. Bucky’s arms weren’t pinning him down, just holding him carefully so he didn’t fall off the couch. A blanket was draped over his back. Despite the stiffness in his muscles from having clearly not moved at all in his sleep last night, he was very comfortable. And, he found himself realizing, that was probably the best sleep he’d gotten in…. Well, who the hell knows how long? He was used to nightmares waking him up several times a night; restless dreams of fighting and running away from unseen monsters that left him feeling exhausted when he woke up. But this time, he couldn’t remember if he had dreamed at all. 

Bucky was slowly pulled from his sleep by something moving on top of him. Tony… Bucky had fallen asleep on the couch with Tony last night. Bucky momentarily panicked, thinking Tony had woken up and was freaking out at their current position. He opened his eyes slowly to find Tony staring at the spot on Bucky’s chest where he’d been laying, lost in thought but, thankfully, not appearing frightened. Bucky moved his hands against Tony’s back, gently alerting Tony that he was waking up. Tony looked up and Bucky smiled lazily.  
“Morning, doll. Sleep okay?”  
Tony ducked his head a bit at the pet name, nodding. “Yeah, pretty damn well, shockingly enough. Sorry I crushed you all night long. Doubt you got a good night’s sleep.”  
Bucky chuckled and squeezed lightly at Tony’s ribs. “You didn’t crush me at all, I told ya that last night. I slept great, actually.”  
Tony nodded, still unsure. “I should probably let you get up, huh?” He blushed slightly, wondering if he should have moved off of Bucky’s body as soon as he’d woken up.  
Bucky smiled and shrugged. “If you wanna. I’m pretty comfy though.”  
Tony considered that for a moment, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought. He stared into Bucky’s eyes, and Bucky stared back, watching for any signs of discomfort and finding none.  
The sound of the elevator dinging someone’s arrival decided for them both. Tony hopped up immediately at the noise, scooting to the far end of the couch. Bucky silently cursed whoever it was as he sat up.   
Steve and Sam exited the elevator, chatting about their morning runs and workouts. Sam caught sight of Tony and Bucky on the couch and waved at them as he made his way into the kitchen.   
“You guys sleep here last night?” he asked.  
Tony shrugged, standing up and stretching. “Got to chatting and I guess we passed out.”  
Bucky nodded in agreement, watching Tony carefully. 

Steve started making eggs and nudged Bucky as he walked into the kitchen to get some orange juice. “Everything okay?”  
Bucky nodded, pouring himself a glass. “Yeah, why?”  
Steve shrugged, scrambling the eggs in the pan. “You just look like you’re thinking really hard, that’s all. Said you were gonna ask Tony something last night and then ended up sleeping here. Just wanted to make sure everything was alright.”  
Bucky sighed. Damn Steve, always able to read people too well for his own damn good. “It’s nothing, really. We just got to talking, like he said.”  
“You know he gets nervous around people sometimes. Doesn’t like people touching him and all that. I just wanted to make sure…”  
“We were fine, really. I didn’t do anything without consent, Steve. Promise.” Bucky put his glass in the sink, turning to look at Steve and crossed his arms. “You really think I would force someone to—“  
“NO! No, God, of course not!” Steve nearly broke the pan in his haste, looking over at Bucky with a wounded puppy look. “Buck, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant, I swear. I just… I worry about him. We all do. We’re all proud of him for going to therapy, but we know it’s hard. I think we’ve all been in therapy at one time or another. I mean I know you’re seeing the VA therapist Sam suggested. So you know how tough it can be. I just wanted to be sure you were BOTH okay. That’s all.”  
Bucky’s frustration deflated and he uncrossed his arms. “Right… Sorry Stevie. I promise, we’re both fine. We were just talking and time got away from us, is all.”  
Steve nodded, smiling. “Okay, Buck. I’m glad you’re both good, and that you’re getting more comfortable with each other. I know it was touch and go at the beginning.”   
Steve wasn’t wrong…

ONE YEAR AGO

Bucky set down the last box; he was officially moved in to his new apartment in Avengers Tower. He didn’t have much stuff, he realized. A few boxes of books and pictures Steve had given him, a couple garbage bags of clothes. There was furniture already here. Tony had a bunch of extra apartments for when members of the team stayed in the Tower, or for various SHIELD agents to use when needed. It was generous of him. Bucky’s apartment (still a strange thought to him) was across the hall from Steve and next door to Sam’s.  
Steve came in the open front door and clapped Bucky on the shoulder. “Looks like you’re here to stay,” he grinned and nodded towards the door. “Pizza night tonight. You in?”  
Bucky gave him an uneasy smile and followed him out the door and into the elevator.   
While Tony had agreed to let Bucky stay, Bucky could tell he wasn’t all that excited about it. The ex-assassin knew it was because of his past, more specifically his past with Tony’s parents. He shuddered slightly at the thought. He hadn’t lied when he’d told Tony he remembered everything, remembered everyone he’d ever killed. It wasn’t like they were happy memories. They plagued him every single night. He was sure that Howard and Maria Stark would be in his nightmares tonight.   
The elevator opened on the communal floor. The team was all there, starting to dig in to the stacks of pizza boxes on the large dining room table. Tony was chatting with Natasha and Clint, laughing and rolling his eyes at one of Clint’s stupid jokes. As Bucky and Steve approached they all smiled at Steve. Bucky peeked out from around Steve’s shoulder and Tony gave him a cold look before turning away and slipping into conversation with Thor.   
Natasha smiled at Bucky. “Give him time. He’s getting there.”  
Bucky nodded and tried to smile back, but he was sure it was more of a grimace. He’d been wondering if he should have moved in to the Tower at all, but Steve had convinced him. Well, Steve had worn him down to the point where he had agreed in order to shut his best friend up.   
Bucky hadn’t been expecting a warm welcome from Tony. He was honestly expecting Tony to take back his invitation to live in the Tower at any second; Bucky wouldn’t have faulted Tony if he had. But Steve promised him that wouldn’t happen. 

As pizza night was winding down, everyone made their way to the elevator to head back to their apartments. Bucky trailed after Steve when he heard someone call his name. He turned back to see Tony standing in the doorway to the kitchen, arms crossed and glaring at the wall behind Bucky’s head.   
“I need to talk to you for a second. Please.” The last word sounded like it had hurt to say.  
Bucky walked over cautiously. He saw Steve get off the elevator and stand off to the side, out Tony’s line of sight.   
Tony sighed and glanced at Bucky’s face before looking back at the far wall again. “I’m not gonna take away your invitation to live here, if that’s what you think. I’m not that much of an asshole anymore. Plus the others would probably get pissed. Your guard dog, especially.” He glanced at the wall Steve was hiding behind.   
Bucky flushed slightly. “I promise I don’t want any issues. And if my living here is a problem, I can find a place—“  
“Just, stop. It’s…fine. You can live here.” Tony heaved a sigh and uncrossed his arms. He looked tired. “Look, I’m working on forgiveness in my therapy sessions right now, and you’re a big one that keeps coming up. I know it wasn’t technically the real you who did all that stuff in the past, but this shit isn’t easy. So take this as a step toward forgiveness, okay? It doesn’t mean I forgive you, but I’m trying. So…just let me get through this in my own time.”  
Bucky smiled slightly. “Thank you, Tony. I really do appreciate that.”  
Bucky put a hand out as if to shake Tony’s hand. Tony jumped back as though Bucky was about to hit him, staring at his hand like it was a snake about to strike. Bucky quickly pulled his hands away, holding both hands up slightly.   
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—“  
“It’s fine. I’m heading to bed. Night.” Tony all but ran down the hall towards his room.  
Bucky watched him go, confused and worried. Steve came over and patted his back gently.   
“He really doesn’t like people touching him. Lots of stuff in his past. You didn’t know, it’s okay. He’ll be alright.” Steve tried to offer a smile, but Bucky just sighed in defeat.   
Bucky knew about touch aversion. He’d had issues with it himself. All the torture from Hydra really freaks someone out about being touched in any way. He’d accidentally punched more SHIELD doctors in the past than he’d care to admit.   
The two super soldiers made their way to the elevator, Bucky mentally punching himself the whole time. Great first impression on your new landlord, he thought. Scare the man off by trying to shake his hand. Awesome. Great job.

PRESENT

Bucky nodded and offered Steve a smile. “I think we’ve come a decent way since then.”  
Steve grinned and started plating the eggs for everyone, handing a couple plates to Bucky to start handing out in the dining room. More team members had shown up while they were talking, all sitting around the table, chatting with one another. Bruce hopped up to help Steve and Bucky pass out plates.  
When everyone had food, and the extra eggs had been placed in the middle of the table, Bucky grabbed his own plate and looked for a place to sit. The only empty seat that was left was next to Tony.   
He approached and pointed at the empty chair. “Okay if I sit here?”  
Tony looked up and nodded. “Yeah, that’s cool.”  
As Bucky sat down he noticed Natasha, Clint, and Sam, all watching the exchange cautiously. Tony nodded at Bucky once he was seated, then turned back to his conversation with Bruce on his other side.  
“Guess you guys are over the whole ‘pretend the other person doesn’t exist’ phase then?” Clint asked, smirking slightly.  
Natasha smacked his arm. “Leave them alone. It’s good that they’re getting along better.”   
If only you knew just how well, Bucky thought. He smiled to himself and started to eat his breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes another one. Apparently my brain is most active right when I wake up, and right when I should be going to bed. Y'all are getting spoiled. Please don't get used to this or expect it forever, cuz you will be sorely disappointed.  
> No beta, just me. All mistakes are my own, don't shame me please.  
> Hope you like it!

It was several days before the hugging incident was brought up again. Tony worked in the lab with Bruce. Bucky worked out with Steve, and caught up on movies and books from the last few decades. There was a lull in missions from SHIELD, so everyone had a decent amount of time on their hands.  
At his next therapy session Tony was asked how the week was. He started out with the generic answer of “fine, nothing exciting,” but he could tell Marcia knew there was something he wasn’t telling her.  
“You seem happier this week. Any particular reason why?” She prodded gently.  
Tony rolled his eyes and smirked. “Isn’t that a good thing? The whole point of why I come here?”  
Marcia laughed and nodded. “That’s part of it. But I suspect your week was better than you’re letting on. How did your touch experiment go?”  
Tony blushed slightly and glanced out of the window. “It was…fine.”  
“Just fine…?”  
He heaved a sigh. “I—umm. I hugged Bucky. And then we cuddled. And fell asleep together on the couch.” Tony bit down on his bottom lip, suddenly nervous. What if she tells him he took it too far? What if she gets upset about whom he decided to try the experiment on?  
Marcia looked surprised, but pleased. “Bucky? Really? That’s…wow! Kinda killing two birds with one stone here, aren’t you?”  
Tony looked back at her, confused. “What are you talking about?”  
“Well, you completed the assignment from last week, which is wonderful. I’m glad you were able to do it, and that it went well. And you were able to do it with someone who, until fairly recently, you didn’t care for. Someone you didn’t think you’d ever be able to hold a civil conversation with. That’s truly wonderful progress, Tony.”  
Tony looked back out the window, pondering her words.  
“What’s on your mind now?” Marcia asked.  
Tony shrugged. “I guess… I never thought of it that way. But you’re right. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to be alone in the same room with the guy without feeling the urge to either punch him or run away. So I guess I just don’t know what changed.”  
“Maybe you’ve forgiven him? Or are at least starting to truly forgive him. Maybe you see something of yourself reflected in him?”  
Tony frowned and looked back at her again. “I’ve never murdered anyone’s parents while under Hydra mind control.”  
Marcia smirked at his sarcasm. “I don’t mean that part. You’ve told me some of the things you know about Bucky’s past and you’ve told me about his behavior since he’s been living in the tower. I’m sure there’s some trauma there, and I think there’s something in you that recognized that. Maybe you unconsciously saw this as an opportunity to get to know him better, a chance to make amends of sorts.”  
Tony’s frown deepened as he considered this. He was definitely used to Bucky living in the Tower by now. It had been a year. And while the first few months were a bit rough as they got used to regularly being around one another, recently things weren’t bad between them. Tony didn’t mind Bucky being around during team movie nights, dinners, or team building activities and SHIELD training exercises. On missions, everyone watched each other’s backs. Bucky had saved him from a few baddies, just as Tony had done for him in return. They were civil to one another, able to converse without Tony feeling the urge to make rude or snarky comments. He just…hadn’t noticed the subtle shifts in their dynamic.  
Tony explained all of this to Marcia, trying to make sense of it all. Marcia just smiled at him. “I truly believe this is you coming to terms with the past, and making your way towards forgiveness. Don’t overthink; just let these things happen as they already are. You’re doing a great job, Tony. I mean it.”  
Tony smiled, unable to help the swell of pride in his head.  
As the session came to a close, Marcia gave Tony his weekly assignment. “I would like for you to try the touch experiment again. Maybe try it more than once this time, if you’re comfortable with it. It can be with someone else, or with Bucky again. Completely up to you. You okay with that?”  
Tony nodded, standing up and following Marcia to the door. “Yeah. I’ll give it a go. Thanks for all this. See you next week.”

The weekly Avengers movie night came around once more. This week it was Clint’s pick, and he chose Star Wars. “What? It’s a classic!” He said to the chorus of groans from the room.  
“You ALWAYS pick a Star Wars movie for your week. Super unoriginal, dude,” Sam told him. Clint just flipped him off and put the disc for Empire Strikes Back in the player.  
Tony was in the kitchen getting the bowls of popcorn ready when Bucky wandered in the to grab a soda. “Lemme guess, Clint chose Star Wars again?”  
Bucky chuckled. “You called it. Need help with those?”  
“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” Tony handed him two of the large bowls, then said, before he could stop himself, “Hey, uh. Can I ask you something?”  
Bucky paused and looked up at Tony’s face. “Yeah, of course. Everything okay?”  
Tony nodded, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Yeah. I—uh. Would it be cool if I like…sat next to you. During the movie. I mean, we don’t have to. I know, that’s super weird of me to ask. Forget I said anyth—“  
“Tony, I’d love to. I’ll go get Steve out of the way and save you a seat.” Bucky grinned then left the kitchen with the popcorn bowls and his soda before Tony could say anything else.  
Tony nodded, murmuring to himself, “Right. Yeah. Don’t overthink. I can do that. Probably.”

Tony entered the room, passing out the remaining popcorn. Steve was in the armchair, Tony’s usual seat. He smiled at Tony as he made his way over to the loveseat Bucky was currently sitting on.  
Bucky smiled up at him. He was holding one of the popcorn bowls on his lap. There was plenty of room next to him. If Tony didn’t want to touch him, he didn’t have to. Tony slowly sat down, making sure to press himself close to the armrest. There was about 8 inches of space between the sides of their bodies. Plenty of room, he told himself as he tried to ignore his racing heartbeat.

As the movie progressed Tony slowly relaxed. His body was no longer pressed uncomfortably against the arm of the loveseat. He tuned in and out of the movie, thinking about various experiments he wanted to go over in the lab in the coming week, emails he needed to reply to, meetings Pepper was demanding he attend and the excuses he could make to get out of them. He reached out blindly for the popcorn, lost in thought, and encountered another, non-flesh hand in the bowl. He jumped and looked over sharply. Bucky had been reaching in at the same time and now their hands were touching, their fingers nearly laced together, metal against flesh.  
Bucky looked up at Tony, a slight flush creeping up his neck. “Sorry about that.” He started to pull his hand away.  
Tony tightened his fingers around Bucky’s, just slightly. “It’s…it’s okay.” He whispered back.  
Bucky watched carefully as he flexed his silver fingers against Tony’s. “You sure?”  
Tony nodded silently, frowning a little as he thought about this sudden change in himself. He should have been panicking. He should have ripped his hand away, moved seats, maybe just left and gone to his room. But he wasn’t doing any of that. He was still sitting here, next to Bucky Barnes of all people, nearly holding the ex-assassins hand in a bowl of popcorn.  
Tony adjusted his hand in the bowl and carefully laced their fingers together properly, pulling their hands out of the bowl and resting them on the cushion of the loveseat. Bucky watched their hands as Tony did this, his eyebrows raised and his eyes widened slightly. To say Bucky was shocked was an enormous understatement.  
Tony stared at their hands, curiosity heavy in his gaze. After a minute or two he looked back up at the movie on the screen, gently squeezing his fingers against Bucky’s metallic ones.  
Bucky looked between their hands and Tony’s face, trying to find even the smallest piece of evidence that said Tony wasn’t okay with this. He couldn’t find any. He couldn’t tell if he should be worried or elated. Bucky glanced around the room, but no one was looking their way. Bucky looked back at their hands.  
‘This is weird, right? I should pull away, shouldn’t I?’ He thought to himself.  
But he didn’t. Instead he carefully rubbed his thumb against Tony’s. Back and forth, slowly, watching for signs of discomfort from the older man. But there weren’t any. Tony just squeezed his fingers again and seemed to relax further into the cushions, a little smile pulling at his lips. Bucky felt a smile pull at his own mouth and settled back into his seat a bit more.


	4. Chapter 4

Movie night came to an end and Tony gently pulled his hand away from Bucky’s. He stood up and started chatting with Bruce about what he wanted to accomplish the next day in the lab. Bucky watched him for a moment, then got up and started to collect the discarded popcorn bowls.   
Steve followed Bucky into the kitchen.   
“So you and Tony seemed cozy tonight.” Steve smirked at Bucky, who looked away quickly, focusing far too hard on loading the dishwasher.   
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
“I’m just saying, one minute you and I are sitting together on the couch, next minute you kick me out of my seat and Tony sits with you. And, I could be wrong here, but you two looked like you were holding hands.” Steve moved to stand next to Bucky. “Am I wrong?”  
Bucky flushed and refused to look Steve in the eye. “Once again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Steve sighed. “Buck, I’m not accusing you of anything bad here. I’m just telling ya what I saw. I think it’s nice the two of you are getting along. I just wanna make sure you’re both okay with…whatever seems to be happening.”  
Bucky finally looked up at Steve, finding only brotherly concern on his face. “I think I’m okay with it. I’m more worried about whether or not Tony is okay with it. I don’t really know what he’s thinking; I’m kinda just following his lead here. I don’t know if there’s an endgame, or if this is just an experiment he’s conducting on me.”  
Steve shrugged. “I doubt he’s conducting an experiment. I mean…at least not a dangerous one. Probably.” Bucky laughed at that, and Steve chuckled in response. “Maybe talk to him about it? See if he’ll explain it to you?”  
Bucky nodded, sighing softly. “Yeah, I can try that.”  
Tony walked into the kitchen just as Steve was clapping Bucky on the shoulder. “Whoa, sorry to interrupt a bro-moment.”  
Steve chuckled and shook his head. “Nah, bro-moment is over. I’m heading to bed. Night, you two.” He winked at Bucky over his shoulder before heading toward the elevator.   
Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve left, turning to wash his hands in the sink. Tony walked over behind him to grab a glass of water. “Everything alright in here? Steve had that ‘I know something I shouldn’t look’ on his face that I hate.”  
Bucky laughed and nodded. “Unfortunately you’re correct about that.”  
“Alright, what does he know?”  
“Uhh well. He kinda saw us holding hands during the movie. So he was wondering what’s going on between us. And… Now I’m kinda wondering that too.” Bucky turned and leaned against the counter, watching Tony’s reaction.  
Tony paused in bringing the glass of water to his mouth, looking over at Bucky in shock. “Uuhhh....”  
Bucky shook his head. “I’m not trying to put a label on anything or force you to say anything. I just wanna know why me, and what is the end result you’re looking for here?”  
Tony set the glass down and stared at the floor, thinking hard. What WAS his goal in all this? Originally it was just to get over his fear of touch. Now, he wasn’t so sure that was all there was to it. He really liked holding hands with Bucky. He’d missed doing that with another person. And he really enjoyed the cuddling from the previous week. Not to mention the weird thoughts about how good Bucky smelled and how he kinda wanted to kiss him and—  
‘Whoa. Where did THAT come from?’ he thought to himself.  
“Tony? You okay?” Bucky stared at him, frowning with concern.   
Tony jumped out of his thoughts, looking up at Bucky and blushed. “Yeah…sorry. Not sure what happened there. Lost in thought. Umm I should just—“  
“Tony. You don’t have to answer if you aren’t comfortable with it. I didn’t mean to spring this on you.” Bucky held up his hands, trying to show he meant no harm with his questioning.   
Tony shook his head. “No, no. I’m just…trying to figure it all out, I guess.” He fidgeted a bit. “Can we go sit somewhere? Standing in the middle of the kitchen feels like a weird place to have this conversation.”  
Bucky nodded, gesturing out towards the living room. “Yeah, c’mon.”

The two got settled on the couch, Tony on the far end, leaving plenty of room between the two of them.  
‘Back to the scene of the crime.’ Bucky thought to himself.   
Tony sighed and looked down at the cushion between them. “So, I don’t really know where to start with all this…”  
Bucky let a small smile grace his lips and set his hand on the cushion between them, as though to take hold of Tony’s hand. He pulled back slightly when he realized what he’d done. “Take your time. You don’t have to figure everything out at once.”  
“You sound like my therapist,” Tony rolled his eyes but chuckled softly, making Bucky’s smile widen. “I guess, according to said therapist anyway, this is my way of trying to make amends with you? Like I unconsciously chose you to try all this touch stuff with because I wanted to get close to you and get to know you better. And I guess it all comes from the fact that I’ve started to see you as an actual human being and not a murderous monster like I used to. Sorry about that, by the way. This all sounds insane, and mildly insulting, I know,” he trailed off, staring at the blank TV screen.   
Bucky shook his head slowly, trying to take this information in. “I don’t think it’s insane. I’m really…flattered that you chose me?” Tony winced slightly at the choice of words, and Bucky continued quickly. “I just mean I’m glad you wanted to get to know me better, even if it was kind of unintentional. I just…still don’t really know what you’re overall goal here is.”  
“I guess, at first anyway, my goal was just to get over this fear of touch thing I have going on. But now, I don’t really know if that’s all. Cuz I really enjoyed the cuddling. And holding your hand. And I wouldn’t mind continuing to do that with you. But like, if you don’t want to—“  
“I never said I didn’t want to,” Bucky grinned. “I just want you to be comfortable with it. I know I haven’t been your favorite person in the past, for good reason, obviously. So the fact that I was the one you ended up doing all of this with just seemed strange to me. Not unwanted, just strange. But despite being confused about it, I still really liked it too. And definitely wouldn’t mind if it continued.”  
“You--really?” Tony asked, turning and staring into Bucky’s eyes, trying to find any hint of him lying or just saying what he thought Tony wanted to hear.   
“Yeah, of course,” Bucky grinned and unconsciously moved across the couch a few inches.   
Tony felt a smile tug at his lips and he too moved closer to Bucky on the couch. “Well that…yeah. That sounds good then. So we both agree that we should…keep doing this?”  
Bucky nodded, watching Tony move closer. “Definitely, doll.”  
Tony slid to the middle cushion, now only a few inches away from Bucky.   
“So, umm. What should we...?”  
“Nuh-uh, you tell me. I’m following your lead on this.” Bucky shook his head with a small smile, watching Tony carefully.   
Tony bit down on his bottom lip in thought. “Could we…cuddle again? Like last week? Is that...?” Bucky nodded, beaming. He started to adjust so he could lie back when Tony stopped him. “Wait. Not here.”  
Bucky stopped and looked up. “Oh, okay. Where do you--?”  
“My room?” Tony blushed bright as soon as the words left his mouth.   
Bucky nodded, moving to stand up. “Lead the way.”

Tony closed the door to his room, turning to watch as Bucky looked around. He looked at the few pictures on the wall and on the top of the dresser: pictures of Tony at the Stark Expo, giving a speech at MIT, Tony and Rhodey laughing together, a picture of Tony and his mother. Bucky paused at this one, giving it a second glance. Tony looked about 16, a look of exasperation on his face, but he was smiling. His mother was hugging him tight and laughing. They looked so happy…  
Bucky turned away quickly, feeling slightly nauseous. He saw Tony leaning against the closed door, watching him. He smiled slightly and nodded at the bed. “Shall we?”  
Tony chuckled and blushed, nodding. “After you.”  
Bucky walked over the bed and sat down on the edge. “Comfy.” He smiled up at Tony and patted the spot next to him.   
Tony hesitated briefly then pushed off the wall and walked over. He stood in front of Bucky for a moment, looking between the bed and Bucky’s face. Bucky held out his flesh hand to Tony in offering. Tony stared at it for a moment then took it, sitting down slowly.   
Bucky squeezed his fingers gently. “We don’t have to, you know. I can just head back to my apartment.”  
“I want you to stay. And I want to do this. It’s not like we’re having sex here. It’s just cuddling.” He chuckled lightly, but cut himself off quickly. ‘Not having sex YET,’ he thought. ‘FUCK where did that come from?!’ Tony shook his head quickly, trying to clear his thoughts. “Right, umm. Wanna lay down?”  
Bucky watched the older man carefully, nodding. Tony stood; Bucky shifted and lay down, still close to the edge of the bed.   
Tony rolled his eyes and nudged Bucky lightly. “Scoot over, you dork. You look like you’re about to fall off the bed.”  
Bucky chuckled and rolled over so he was closer to the center of the mattress. The bed was huge, so there was plenty of room. Tony lay down, facing Bucky and looking into his eyes. ‘Jesus his eyes are really blue,’ he thought. ‘Really pretty too—DAMMIT stop it, Tony!’  
Bucky reached across the space between them, his palm facing up to offer his hand to Tony again. This time Tony didn’t hesitate to take it, making Bucky beam happily. Tony smiled back, scooting closer until they were pressed chest to chest. Bucky carefully draped his metal arm over Tony’s waist, watching for any signs of discomfort. Tony ducked his head and tucked himself under the other man’s chin, sighing quietly as he got comfortable. Bucky adjusted the smaller man so he could put both arms around him, squeezing him a little tighter against his body.   
Tony looked up, meaning to thank Bucky for being so cool with cuddling him, when he found himself literally nose to nose with the guy. Bucky had been looking down to ask Tony if he was comfortable. They stared at one another for a long moment, neither man daring to move.


	5. Chapter 5

Bucky didn’t know how long they’d been laying there, noses pressed together gently, breathing each others breath. Tony’s eyes were wide and his whole body was tense. Bucky was trying his best to think of a way to diffuse the situation when Tony suddenly pressed his lips against Bucky’s. It was a simple kiss, just closed mouths pushed together, but neither man seemed to be able to move. After nearly a full minute of this Bucky’s eyes were just starting to slip closed; he had just started to tilt his head to deepen the kiss, when Tony suddenly pulled away, jumped up from the bed, and started pacing.   
“FUCK, shit, goddammit. I have to—FUCK, okay, I have to go. Sorry. I fucked this up. Royally fucking fucked this--I just—okay, bye!” Tony ripped the bedroom door open and ran.   
Bucky sat up and watched Tony run off, completely confused. “Well, that could have been worse, I guess,” he murmured to himself. He got up and made his way out of the room, wandering toward the elevator in a daze. 

Bucky didn’t see Tony for almost a week. It wasn’t for lack of trying, of course. Whenever he asked, FRIDAY would just tell him Tony was unavailable.   
“Are you just saying that because Tony told you not to tell me where he is?” Bucky asked the AI.  
“No...” If a computerized voice could be cagey, this was probably the closest to what it would sound like.   
“Just tell me that he’s okay. That he hasn’t hurt himself. Please, Fri?”  
“I can assure you, boss is perfectly healthy and has not harmed himself in any way. No more than his usual accidental soldering burns, at least.” FRIDAY sounded sincere, so Bucky took the information as a win. 

He tried asking the others, but they all just shrugged and said they hadn’t seen him.  
“Probably locked himself in his lab again. You know how he gets when his research with Bruce goes well. Or when it goes poorly,” Natasha replied when he asked her for the third time in as many days.   
When he tried asking Bruce, the scientist was just as unhelpful as everyone else. “I tried to go in the lab a couple days ago but he’d locked it down. Figured he was working on something big and didn’t want to be disturbed, so I’ve been in the R&D floor labs ever since.”

Finally, after 5 days of radio silence from the older man, Tony appeared at Bucky’s front door. It was nearly 1am when Bucky heard the knocking. He opened the door and Tony rushed inside without so much as a ‘hello’.   
“I need to say this now or I’ll lose my nerve and it won’t ever be said, so sit down and listen.” Bucky closed the door, sat on his couch and turned off the WWII documentary he had been watching, staring as Tony pace in front of him, in amazement and confusion. Tony started to talk, his words coming out in a jumbled rush. “I have called my therapist I don’t know how many times in the last few days and she’s talked me down from the metaphorical ledge and I think I have a better understanding of all of this but I really don’t know for sure. She says that I’ve kinda skipped passed the whole forgiveness thing and I’ve started developing stronger feelings for you than I had meant to. Meaning I’m now getting romantic feelings for you and I’m becoming attached and I don’t really know what to do with those feelings. And that’s why I acted on them the other night and I’m really, really sorry I did that. I didn’t mean to put you in that position and I know I didn’t even ask if it was okay to do it, I just did it, and I should have asked first cuz that’s my whole thing, right? I can’t handle people doing something as simple as touching me on the arm without having them ask me a thousand times first, and here I am just fucking jumping you and kissing you and I didn’t mean to do that, I swear. I thought maybe it was just a product of you being the first person I’ve willingly touched in I don’t know how fucking long, but I’m not so sure that that’s it cuz I think I started kind of feeling this way, on a smaller scale, a while ago but I can’t really be sure about that. But I remember there was this one time I went into the gym and you and Steve were sparring and I was watching you and I was thinking to myself ‘oh shit, Barnes looks pretty fucking hot today’, but maybe I just meant hot as in temperature? Fuck if I can remember properly, it was months ago, you know? And then we kissed and it was totally goddamn amazing and--” Tony paused in his pacing and looked over at Bucky who had a look of amusement and shock on his face. “I fucking said that out loud, didn’t I? Fucking…shit!” Tony had turned around too fast and whacked his bare foot against the edge of the coffee table.  
Bucky jumped up and went to catch him as he nearly toppled over. Tony caught onto his metal arm and let Bucky lead him into a chair.   
“You okay, doll?” Bucky gently lifted Tony’s foot and looked it over. He paused when he realized he had acted purely on instinct and hadn’t asked if it was all right first. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“  
“You’re fine. It’s okay. I’m fine. I should really get out of here, anyway—“  
“Nuh-uh. We have a lot to talk about here.” Bucky got up and sat on the end of the coffee table, staring at Tony. “Now was all of that your therapist’s words, or was some of that your own too?”  
Tony blushed and looked away, studying the carpet. “I mean… The bit about thinking you looked hot at the gym didn’t exactly come from my therapist…”  
“I’m serious, Tony.” Bucky looked at him firmly, resting his arms against his knees and leaning forward. “Did you really mean all of that?”  
Tony nodded slowly, still staring at the carpet. “Yeah… Yeah I think I did. I do. Mean it, I mean.”  
Bucky’s face softened and he leaned back, surprised at Tony’s admission.   
Tony finally looked up. “Like I said when I came in, I just needed to get that out in the open. But I’m not expecting anything in return. It’s just shit I need to get through. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”  
Bucky frowned. “Don’t you even want to know what I have to say about it all?”  
“Uh, yeah. That bit is fucking killing me inside. But it will also kill me even worse if you say you want nothing to do with me now. So probably just easier for me to cut this whole touch experiment thing off before you start getting all weird and doing stuff with me that you don’t even want—“  
“Stop. Right now. Just…fucking stop it.” Bucky held his hand up and Tony immediately fell silent, leaning back further in the chair and looking worried. “First of all, I’m done doing things that I don’t want to do. I did it for years, brainwashed, with no say in anything, and I’m certainly not going to do anything remotely like that while I’m in my right mind. Secondly, I’m not going to ‘get all weird’ with you. We have been through the weird phase already. It sucked. I don’t want to regress back to that bullshit again. And third,” Bucky paused and waited for Tony to look back in his eyes before he continued. “If you want to stop this touch experiment, then I will respect that. But don’t stop it because you think I don’t want it to continue. Because I want to keep doing it. I really, really do. I like you, Tony. You’re not the only one developing stronger feelings here. When you kissed me the other night, my brain absolutely short-circuited. I was scared you didn’t actually want it, but when you didn’t pull away immediately I thought maybe there was a chance that you did want it. That you wanted me. And I haven’t been that happy in… Hell, I don’t even know how long.” Bucky chuckled and saw Tony crack a small smile out of the corner of his eye. “What I’m saying is that you have nothing to apologize for or feel weird about. I think the issue for both of us is that we’re more worried about what the other person wants or is feeling at the time, rather than focusing on ourselves, and what we want and feel. But I can tell you, right now, that I’m feeling fucking overjoyed that you liked kissing me, and I would very much like to do it again. As soon as you want to. If you want to, that is.”  
Tony stared at Bucky for several long moments, absorbing everything he just said.   
‘He likes me. He wants to kiss me again. He wants me to kiss him. He isn’t acting weird. What if he starts acting weird though? FUCK I need to shut up and just—‘  
Tony leaned forward, tugged Bucky closer by the front of his shirt, and kissed him. A slightly less chaste kiss this time, Bucky reached up and carefully cupped Tony’s jaw, tilting his head and parting his lips slightly, gently guiding Tony’s lower lip between his front teeth and nibbling softly. Tony pulled away after a minute or so, face flushed and chest heaving slightly.   
“Wow. Warn a guy next time you pull out your best moves, huh?” The smirk on his lips and the playful glint in his eye told Bucky he was half-joking.   
Bucky licked his lips and smiled back. “Oh darlin’, you ain’t even seen a fraction of my best moves yet.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be real, my brain is starting to slow down on this already. Though that may be because it was rainy and I was tired today. I do have a general goal in mind though, just gotta figure out how to get there without fucking up the story.  
> Anywho, this one is a shorter chapter, but I didn't want to drag anything out too much. Also paranoid that the writing is crap in this one. Well, I'm paranoid about that in literally all of the chapters...  
> I'll stop rambling now.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

After a long conversation that got interrupted several times by Tony pulling Bucky in for more making out, the two men came to an agreement. Bucky no longer needed to ask Tony if he was allowed to touch the older man. If Tony didn’t want to be touched, he’d just say so. They would let their relationship, whatever it may be, develop naturally, doing their best to not overthink or freak out about every little thing. “No promises on this one. Overthinking is what I’m best at. Other than being an awesome superhero, of course,” Tony shrugged, making Bucky chuckle and kiss his cheek.   
They also agreed that they wouldn’t outright tell the rest of the team, but they also wouldn’t lie about it either. “I know Steve is gonna ask. What should I tell him?” Bucky asked Tony just before they both started to nod off. It was after 4am and the bed was suddenly very comfortable. Talking about serious, possible life altering relationships was exhausting work.  
Tony yawned and cuddled closer, tucking his head under Bucky’s chin. “Say we aren’t putting a label on it. Or say I’m your sugar daddy. He’ll freak out either way, so who cares.”   
Bucky huffed out a laugh and tightened his arms around Tony’s waist. “You’re not wrong there, baby.” He kissed Tony’s forehead before finally succumbing to sleep.

A sharp, insistent knocking woke them both from a peaceful slumber. Bucky groaned and dragged himself away from the warm body in his bed, Tony reaching out and trying to pull him back under the blankets with a soft whine of disapproval. He yawned as he opened the door, finding Steve standing there, his fist raised to start knocking again. “Buck! There you are! Where have you been?”  
Bucky frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”  
“It’s after 1pm! We were supposed to going running and work out this morning with Sam.” Steve followed Bucky into the apartment as Bucky slumped onto the couch.   
“Shit, Stevie. I’m sorry. I didn’t fall asleep until like 4:30 this morning.” Bucky leaned his head back and closed his eyes, still exhausted.   
“Is everything okay? Nightmares again?” Steve sat next to his best friend on the couch.  
“No, nothing like that. It was just—“  
“It was my fault, actually.” Tony appeared in the bedroom doorway, leaning against the doorjamb, only wearing his boxers and one of Bucky’s t-shirts, hair still sleep-rumpled. “Kept him up for hours.”  
If Steve’s eyes got any bigger, Bucky was fairly certain they would fall right out of his head. “You—you two are—huh?!”  
Tony barked out a laugh, wandering into the kitchen.  
Steve rounded on Bucky. “What…the HELL…is going on here?”  
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Ignore him. It isn’t what you think.”  
Steve relaxed slightly, still staring at the doorway to the kitchen. “So then…what is it?”  
Bucky sighed, wishing he were still asleep. “Basically ever since that night when we fell asleep on the couch together, we’ve kind of… started developing feelings for each other. So no we’re just kind of letting things happen. And one of those things happens to be making out. Fairly new development as of last night, actually.”  
“You fell asleep on the couch together. And now you’re making out? And he’s cool with all of this?” Steve stared at Bucky in wonder and confusion. Bucky nodded and looked up as Tony reentered the room.   
“You tell him I’m your sugar daddy?” Tony sat down and tucked himself under Bucky’s flesh arm, kissing the younger man’s cheek.  
Steve’s eyes widened again and Bucky quickly shook his head. “No, no he isn’t. Jesus, doll. Why you gotta give the old man over here an aneurysm?” He tightened his arm around Tony’s shoulders, smirking down at Tony.   
“Ok… I’m gonna head out. This is… a lot to take in right now. You guys just, uh… Be safe I guess?” Steve stood up, unable to make eye contact with either of the other men, and quickly left, pulling the front door shut behind him a little too hard.   
Bucky chuckled softly, settling back into the couch and closing his eyes. “That was a little too much fun. I love freaking him out sometimes. He gets all twitchy.”  
Tony stared at the door, his face blank. “How much you wanna bet that he tells Sam, who then tells Clint, who then tells literally anyone within earshot?”  
Bucky nodded, pulling Tony’s legs across his lap and cuddling the shorter man closer. “Definitely.”

Bucky rode the elevator up to the communal floor, holding tight to Tony’s hand. They’d spent the rest of the afternoon together, watching movies, chatting, making out. Making out became a new favorite activity of theirs very fast. The elevator dinged and stopped, opening up and revealing the rest of the team milling about. Silence fell immediately, everyone staring at the couple still in the elevator car. Tony tugged at Bucky’s hand and made his way toward everyone, holding his head up high as they walked past.   
“So what’s for dinner?” Tony sat down, pulling Bucky into the seat next to him, setting their still-interlaced hands on the table, looking around expectantly.  
“Nuh-uh. No dinner for you two until someone explains some things. I’ve heard like 5 different stories today.” Clint sat down opposite the other men, pointing at them accusingly. “I heard Tony was a sugar daddy, I heard Bucky became a prostitute in his spare time, I heard you two got drunk and fucked all night. And if that one is true, shame on you for breaking your sobriety, Tony.”  
Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Alright, alright. No sugar daddy, no relapses, no prostitute. Wait,” he looked over at Bucky sharply. “You’re not a prostitute, right?”  
It was Bucky’s turn to roll his eyes. “Stop.” He addressed the room at large. “We’re kind of seeing each other. That’s all there is to it. It’s recent. Like, literally started last night. So there you guys go. That’s the big secret. Can we all relax and eat now?”  
Everyone stared at them for a moment longer, then Natasha shrugged and murmured, “That’s cool,” and went into the kitchen with Bruce to grab the food. The tension had officially broken as everyone returned to their various conversations.   
Clint stared at the couple for another minute or two. “So you guys are like… together? And you’re happy?”  
Tony nodded and squeezed Bucky’s fingers gently. “Yeah, we’re good here.”  
Clint nodded once and got up to pass out plates of food.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so there isn't actually any rape, but things do lean into that area. Just be advised. I've updated tags accordingly. 
> 
> I'm not really happy with how this chapter came out, but I tried.   
> Remember how one of the tags says "eventual smut"? Yeah I'm basically trying to get to that point. So bear with me and we'll all get through my terrible writing together.
> 
> Enjoy!

It had been 3 months since Tony and Bucky had become “official”. The whole team could tell how much happier the two men were, and their happiness seemed to spread to the others. It was only fitting that something broke that happiness.

It was supposed to be a routine mission: find the guys selling alien tech on the black market, follow them to their evil lair, arrest and detain, go home and celebrate with shwarma. No one could have suspected what they’d encounter inside said evil lair.   
These criminals had done their research. They figured out that if you built the alien tech a certain way, you could create what was essentially the same device Obadiah Stane had used on Tony to steal his arc reactor, but on a much larger scale.   
The team consisted of Tony, Bucky, Steve, and Natasha, along with a couple of SHIELD agents. Steve and Bucky led the agents around to the back of the building to catch anyone who tried to escape. By their count, there should only be about 4-5 baddies inside, so it should be a cakewalk apprehending them all.   
Tony and Nat burst in the front, ready to start taking out bad guys, when all of a sudden they both froze and fell over. The head baddie had flipped the switch as soon as they came in, rendering the two Avengers immobile. He flipped it back off once they were down, and all the goons removed their earplugs.   
“Look here, fellas. Some new toys to play with,” a pale-faced, ugly crony nudged Tony in the ribs with the toe of his boot. The Nano bots of Tony’s suit had retreated into their housing unit on his chest, reacting to the frequency of the alien tech.   
Natasha could hear Steve asking for an update through the comm, but was unable to answer. Two of the criminals were lifting her and laying her out on a table. Two others did the same with Tony.   
“Who should we play with first?” The head asshole in charge looked between the two heroes, sizing them up.   
“I say we fuck around with Stark first,” the pale-faced dickhead leered down at Tony unpleasantly. “When are we gonna get an opportunity like this again?”  
“Grab that thing on his chest while you’re at it then,” Head Asshole said, standing back to watch as the other 4 other men surrounded Tony’s body.   
Natasha could only watch helplessly out of the corner of her eye as they started pulling at Tony’s clothes and feeling him up roughly. She saw a few tears slide down his cheek. She couldn’t imagine the fear he was feeling at that moment, but she knew she would have first hand experience as soon as they were done with him.   
Suddenly shouts were heard from the back of the building and the rest of the team ran in, gunshots echoing around the warehouse. Then criminals tried to flee, but the two super soldiers were much faster, capturing them easily.   
While the SHIELD agents finished up cuffing and hauling the goons out of the building, Steve checked on Natasha, and Bucky checked on Tony. The two were just starting to be able to move again. Natasha explained what had happened to Steve, while Bucky reached for Tony to help him up.   
“N-no. Don’t touch me.” Tony recoiled from Bucky’s hands, wrapping his arms around his bare torso.   
Bucky backed up a step, looking confused and upset. “Tony, I won’t hurt you, I just wanna help—“  
“I’m fine, alright? Leave me alone,” Tony snapped angrily, grabbing his ripped shirt from the ground and tugging it on, stumbling toward the front door.   
“Let him go, James,” Natasha held her hand out to stop Bucky from going after the older man. “I don’t really know what they were going to do to him, but it didn’t look good. He just needs time.”  
Bucky stared helplessly after Tony, feeling helpless.

Tony called Marcia for an emergency session as soon as the sun was up the next day. He was sitting in her office 2 hours later, sipping tea and feeling jumpier than he’d been in ages.   
He explained everything that had happened to Marcia, including what had happened with Bucky.   
“But he didn’t know what those men had done to you, correct?”   
Tony shook his head. “How could he? He wasn’t there when it was happening. I know I shouldn’t have yelled at him, I just couldn’t help it. I was freaking out. I’m STILL freaking out. And now I’ve ruined the best thing that’s happened to me in years!”   
Marcia smiled kindly at him. “I don’t think you’ve ruined anything.”  
“How can you possibly say that? You didn’t see his face. It’s like I kicked his new puppy in front of him on Christmas morning. He fucking hates me, I know it.” Tony put his head in his hands and groaned softly.   
“Tony, have you spoken to Bucky at all since last night?”  
Tony shook his head without taking it out of his hands. “What could I possibly say to him that would fix this?”  
“Well, you could always try the truth? It’ll set you free, I hear.” Marcia teased gently.  
“I just—I don’t want him to be mad at me. I don’t want him to leave.” Tony could feel that classic fear of abandonment rearing its ugly head.   
“Tony, talk to him. From what you’ve told me, I truly doubt he’s going to leave you. But if, for some reason, he does, we will work through it together. Okay?”  
Tony nodded sadly, staring out of the window. 

Tony knocked quietly on Bucky’s door a few hours later. He had first gone to the lab to try and clear his head, but couldn’t focus on anything. He knew he needed to talk to Bucky; he had just tried to delay the inevitable.   
So here he was, half hoping Bucky wasn’t in. But then the door opened a crack and an eye peeked out.  
“Tony? Hey…” Bucky opened the door the rest of the way. “You um, wanna come in?”  
Tony nodded, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat, and followed Bucky inside.  
Bucky set aside the book he’d been reading (pretending to read, honestly). Tony sat on the couch and stared at the coffee table, studying the lines in the wood grain.  
“Did you...did you want something?” Bucky asked hesitantly.   
Tony’s eyes snapped to the other man’s face, then looked away again as he blushed.   
“Please don’t break up with me,” he whispered.  
Bucky looked surprised, his mouth dropping open. “Tony…doll, why the hell would you think I was gonna break up with you? I-I honestly thought you’d come here to…to break up with me.”   
Tony finally looked into Bucky’s eyes and held his gaze. “You…what?!”  
Bucky let out a humorless laugh and nodded. “I royally fucked up last night. I should have known better. I didn’t know what those assholes did to you until Nat explained, but I still shouldn’t have—fuck, Tony I am so sorry. I don’t blame you one bit if you don’t want anything to do with me--”   
“Stop, stop. I’m not here to break up with you. I’m here to apologize. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Like you said, you didn’t know what had happened. I just…I freaked out and ran. Like I always do when I’m scared. And you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry, Bucky. I really am.”  
Bucky smiled. “You have nothing to apologize for.”  
“Yeah, well. Neither do you.” Tony slid across the couch so the men’s legs brushed gently. “I’m probably gonna need some time to go back to not flinching every time you touch me. But, hug it out, maybe?” He held his arms up slightly.  
Bucky grinned and held his arms out too. “Ready when you are, baby.”  
Tony carefully tucked himself into Bucky’s embrace, only jumping a little bit when Bucky wrapped his arms around his middle. After a few minutes, Bucky felt Tony’s body go completely lax. He arranged them a little more comfortably and tucked Tony’s head under his chin, Tony’s favorite place to snuggle.   
“I think the feelings I have for you are getting worse.” Tony mumbled, nuzzling his nose into Bucky’s neck and kissing the skin softly.  
“Worse? Or better?” Bucky chuckled, kissing the top of Tony’s head lightly, inhaling the scent of the older man’s shampoo.  
“Definitely better,” Tony replied, lifting his head to steal a soft kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone catch the obscure Invader Zim reference? Bonus points if you did!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things start heating up in this one. Prepare yourselves...
> 
> Enjoy!

Tony’s therapist suggested bringing Bucky in for their next session, and Tony had no idea what to think about that. One the one hand, things are going really well in their relationship. Tony was fairly certain he had never been with anyone in such a healthy way before. But on the other hand, bringing Bucky into a place that Tony considered safe enough that he could be completely vulnerable was a terrifying thought. What if Bucky learned something about Tony that scared him off? Granted, there wasn’t much that Bucky didn’t already know, but still!  
“I just think, maybe, there are some things that you both could use some guidance in discussing. You mentioned the two of you haven’t gotten very physical yet, and maybe there are feelings there that you two aren’t sure how to discuss. Maybe I can help with that,” Marcia had suggested kindly.  
Tony spent the entire week mulling it over. It wasn’t until the night before the appointment that he brought it up to Bucky.  
“So, uh, I have therapy tomorrow,” he brought up in the middle of the show they were watching. Bucky nodded and hummed to indicate he was listening, still watching the television. Tony cleared his throat and pressed on, “And my therapist thought maybe it would be a good idea if you went with me?”  
Bucky looked down at Tony, who was tucked under his metal arm and currently half-hiding his face in Bucky’s chest. “Do YOU want me to go with you?”  
Tony shrugged one shoulder and felt his face heat up. “I-if you want. Whatever.”  
Bucky gently tugged the older man up to face him properly. “Tony. I want you to tell me, yes or no, do you want me to go with you? I know therapy can be a really scary thing just on your own. I won’t go if you aren’t okay with it. I’m sure your therapist would understand.”  
Tony sighed softly and nodded. “I do want you there. It’s just…not something I’ve ever done before, with anyone I was seeing. I don’t want it to scare you off.”  
Bucky laughed and kissed Tony softly. “You won’t scare me off that easy, doll.”

So that’s how they found themselves seated in Marcia’s office, holding hands, both feeling nervous. Marcia smiled at them from across the small room. “I hear you two have been going strong these past few months?” She asked Bucky.  
“Yes, ma’am. I believe we have.” Bucky nodded and squeezed Tony’s hand gently.  
“Now, Tony. I think there was some things we spoke about last time that maybe we could try discussing again now that Mr. Barnes is with us?” Marcia prompted and smiled at the older man.  
Tony nodded, staring at the coffee table. “We, uh. Were talking about…sex,” Tony mumbled the last word, feeling like a 14 year old getting “the talk” from his parents (which his parents never actually did, thank God).  
Bucky looked over at Tony and nodded. “What about it, baby?”  
Tony bit his lip and didn’t answer for several moments. Marcia filled in the silence. “I believe Tony was thinking that maybe he was ready for things to progress in your physical relationship. Is that correct, Tony?”  
Tony nodded again, still studying the leg of the table in front of him.  
“Doll, can you look at me for a sec?” Bucky asked, squeezing Tony’s hand. Tony sighed quietly and looked up into Bucky’s blue-grey eyes. “Is that something you wanna try?”  
Tony felt his brain-to-mouth filter crumbling. “I want to. But what if something goes wrong? What if I’m—we’re--not actually ready? What if I DO enjoy it, but then start overthinking and realize we made a horrible mistake and I regret everything? Not regret being with you but like…fuck, I don’t know.” Tony sighed and slumped back into the loveseat they were sitting on.  
Bucky stared at Tony for a minute then said, “If something goes wrong or doesn’t feel right, then we stop. Plain and simple. If you find that you aren’t ready then we stop and try again another time, if you want to. I think you’re already overthinking, so we can check that point off, yeah?” Bucky chuckled lightly, pulling a small twitch of the lips from the other man. “We won’t know anything until we at least try it. And if you’re worried that not having sex is gonna make me wanna leave, then I can tell you, right now, that isn’t the case. I’m not with you just to have sex with you. I’m with you because I wanna be with you, whatever that entails. I went decades without sex. Waiting doesn’t bother me one bit.”  
Marcia smiled at Bucky’s answer, turning to look at Tony. “How does that sound to you?”  
Tony stared at Bucky, speechless. ‘Is he for real? Who made this guy? Why does he say all the right things, and then actually does what he says he’s gonna do? What’s the fucking catch here?!’ Finally Tony nodded and offered the smallest hint of a smile. “That sounds…really good.”  
Bucky grinned and stole a small kiss from the other man. 

The rest of the session went by smoothly. Both men were able to talk freely and both felt lighter after being encouraged to talk openly to one another about what they were feeling.  
“Your therapist is really nice. Definitely seems helpful and reassuring.” Bucky told Tony as they rode the elevator to Tony’s floor.  
The older man nodded and leaned his head back against the elevator wall. “Definitely makes you work for the results, but guess that’s a mark of a good therapist. She doesn’t just give you the answers you want.” He felt exhausted, but pleased with the progress made during the session.

The elevator dinged and opened up, letting the couple off.  
“We have a few hours before dinner, if you wanna hang out?” Tony offered, wandering into the living room.  
Bucky agreed and sat on the couch. Tony sat next to him; close enough to be gently pressed into Bucky’s side. Bucky wrapped his flesh arm around Tony’s waist and tugged him closer.  
Tony turned his head and caught Bucky’s lips in a deep kiss, sliding a hand into Bucky’s hair and tilting his head as he slid his tongue into the younger man’s mouth. Bucky made a soft sound of surprise, tightening his arm around Tony. Tony became bolder, shifting around until he was straddling Bucky’s lap, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck, the kiss getting a little sloppier. Bucky let his hands slide up under Tony’s shirt, feeling the warm skin underneath, his hips involuntarily raising when Tony let his weight press down onto Bucky’s thighs. Tony gasped at the sensation of warm flesh and cool metal skating over his ribs. He found himself rocking his hips gently into Bucky’s, quiet moans escaping him every time the front of his rapidly tightening pants brushed against Bucky’s abdomen. Bucky let his hands fall to Tony’s hips, guiding his movements. He broke away from the kiss, letting his mouth trail down to Tony’s jaw, nipping at the skin gently. Tony’s head fell back, baring his neck, which Bucky took full advantage of. He nuzzled his nose against the spot where Tony’s neck and shoulder met, then started sucking and biting a mark into the soft skin. Tony gasped at the pleasurable pain, the sensation zinging through his body and settling deep in his groin. He had a half-formed thought wriggle into the front of his mind telling him that he better be careful, but the thought was quickly replaced by the feeling of Bucky’s scruffy jaw against his cheek as Bucky leaned up to nip at his earlobe. Bucky tugged Tony’s hips a little harder against him, just to hear Tony gasp and moan again. Tony’s hips rocked erratically and suddenly he was soaring into the throes of release, body twitching and shivering as he came in his pants.  
“Oh shit…oh, SHIT,” Tony cursed as he realized what he’d just done.  
Bucky quickly caught the older man before he could try to flee. “Doll, calm down, it’s okay, I’ve go you. Sshh…” Bucky carefully wrapped his arms around Tony, hugging him close and rubbing his back. “I know your first instinct is to freak out right now, but try to fight it. It’s okay. You’re safe.”  
Tony tensed up, his brain screaming at him to run away and hide for the next 4 years. But slowly Bucky’s words started to soothe the insanity inside, and he relaxed into the younger man’s embrace. Bucky smiled and kept rubbing his back until Tony’s body had gone completely slack.  
After a few minutes of calming down, Tony spoke quietly. “Sorry that got so…intense. I didn’t mean to go that far it just—“ he bit his lip and hid his face in Bucky’s neck. “It felt really, really fucking good.”  
Bucky chuckled and kissed Tony’s cheek. “I’m glad, honey. I’m happy that you felt so good.”  
Tony squirmed a bit, the come in his pants starting to get cold. “You mind if I, uh…”  
Bucky laughed softly and nodded, releasing the older man from his grasp.  
Tony mumbled his thanks and quickly went to his room, cleaning himself up in the bathroom before pulling on a fresh pair of boxers and some lounge pants. He returned to find Bucky right where he’d left him.  
“Better?” Bucky asked, holding out his arms for Tony to climb into again.  
Tony nodded and tucked himself back into the welcoming embrace, sighing, as he got comfortable. “So I guess we kinda just jumped right into the whole ‘getting physical’ thing, huh?”  
Bucky nodded. “You okay with that?”  
Tony thought about it for a moment, and then nodded back. “Yeah. I think I am. Sorry I kind of just…jumped you though.”  
Bucky smirked and rubbed a hand over Tony’s side gently. “It was a bit of a shock, but not an unwelcome one. Maybe next time we can try it slower?”  
Tony hummed in agreement, suddenly feeling very sleepy. “Next time…”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lord, there's more! Just a short one this time, but the boys make some progress in the whole healing process thing
> 
> Enjoy!

“Next time” ended up being right after dinner. It seemed that the floodgates had been opened by that impromptu make out session and accidental orgasm. The couple had barely made it out of the elevator on Bucky’s floor, and Tony was crowding the younger man against his own front door, sliding his callused hands under Bucky’s shirt.   
“Whoa, hey,” Bucky chuckled and gently caught Tony’s wrists. “Let’s at least get inside first, yeah?”  
Tony let his hands be placed by his sides, watching as Bucky opened the door and led him into the living room. As soon as the door was closed again, Tony pounced once more. Bucky laughed and picked the shorter man up easily, carrying him into the bedroom and dropping him gently on the bed. Tony glowered playfully up at Bucky, reaching his hands out to try to grab the other man. Bucky dodged him easily, stepping back and tugging his shirt over his head before returning to the bed.  
“Rude. Wanted to undress you myself.” Tony pulled Bucky down, flipping them around so he was straddling Bucky’s hips and Bucky had his head resting comfortably on a pillow. He let his fingers trace the various scars on the younger man’s body; dip into the lines that defined the man’s abdominal muscles.  
“Want me to put it back on for ya?” Bucky teased, reaching up to brush his flesh fingers across Tony’s cheek. Tony just shook his head and focused on touching as much of Bucky’s torso as he could. When he reached the shoulder that was half flesh and half metal, he felt Bucky tense beneath him. He pulled his hand away quickly, but Bucky caught his wrist, pulling it back to where it had been. “Sorry, just not used to people wanting to touch it. I don’t mind though.” Tony looked into his eyes for a brief moment, and then carefully traced the gnarled scar tissue, watching for any signs of discomfort. Bucky just closed his eyes and sighed quietly, relaxing deeper into the bed.   
Tony’s fingers ran along the ridges of the metal plates, his mind whirling with possibilities of upgrades he could make. He lifted the arm and rested the hand on his shoulder so he could look at the design more closely. Bucky opened his eyes at the movement, and smiled at the quizzical look on Tony’s face. Tony looked up after a minute and blushed, lowering the arm once more. “Sorry. Got caught up for a second.”  
Bucky grinned and tugged Tony down for a kiss. “Don’t mind one bit, doll.”  
Tony deepened the kiss, sliding his fingers into Bucky’s hair and tugging softly, earning a moan. Bucky’s hands traveled over Tony’s strong thighs, up to squeeze his hips, then slid further up to slip under his shirt. Tony pulled back slightly from the kiss and shivered at the contrast of the cool metal and warm flesh.   
“This okay?” Bucky asked, letting his flesh fingers dance over the other man’s spine. Tony just nodded, letting his head drop to rest on Bucky’s chest. “Okay if I take your shirt off?”  
Tony paused, then sat up and pulled his shirt off himself, smirking down at Bucky as he tossed it away. “Payback for not letting me take off yours.”  
Bucky just chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, you sure showed me. Got to watch you strip for me. How awful.”   
Tony stretched out on top of the younger man once again, dipping his head to kiss along Bucky’s collarbone, pausing and leaving tiny love bites along the way. Bucky tilted Tony’s head back up to reclaim his lips.   
After several moments, Bucky rolled them both onto their sides. His flesh hand slid from Tony’s ribs to his hip then back. “You got to look at me for a while. Mind if I do the same to you?”  
Tony flushed, biting his lip, and nodded. He rolled onto his back and watched Bucky situate himself so that he was sitting up, cross-legged, next to Tony’s supine form. Bucky started at Tony’s shoulders first, running his hands over the well defined muscles in the older man’s upper arms. He skipped down to Tony’s abdomen, the muscles slightly less defined than his own, but no less beautiful in Bucky’s eyes. He traced the V that led into Tony’s pajama pants, making the other man gasp quietly, the muscles in his stomach twitching. Bucky huffed a quiet laugh and slid his finger back up, above Tony’s belly button. He saved Tony’s chest for last, knowing it would be a sensitive area. There was a large scar between the pectoral muscles, where the arc reactor used to be. He let his fingers trace close to it, but didn’t touch it. Tony tensed and Bucky noticed that his breath came quicker and sharper. “Want me to stop?”  
Tony thought for a second, and then shook his head. He reached a hand up and guided Bucky’s metal hand to the scar. He gently pressed the hand against his chest so the palm was flat against the raised skin, and rested his own hand over top. He closed his eyes tight, willing away the fear that had started to well up inside of him. Bucky watched him carefully, not moving a muscle in case it startled the other man. After nearly 2 full minutes, Tony opened his eyes and looked down at the hands on his chest. There was no pain, nothing was being ripped out of his body, and he didn’t feel violated in any way. The metal had warmed so it was the same temperature as his skin. It was…comforting.   
He suddenly felt so overwhelmed with relief that tears began gathering in his eyes, threatening to spill over. He let them. They slid slowly down his cheeks.   
Bucky looked up when Tony sniffled quietly. “Oh, God, Tony… Doll, are you okay?” Bucky’s hand was still being held to Tony’s chest; he wasn’t sure what do.  
Tony nodded and laughed wetly. “Yeah…I’m really fucking good. This is—It’s kind of a huge thing and I didn’t realize it until right this moment just how godddamn big it is.”  
Bucky let a small smile tug at his mouth. He watched Tony, letting his hand be held in that spot as long as the other man wanted. 

Once Tony’s tears had dried, he let go of Bucky’s hand and tugged the other man to lie back down next to him. He tucked himself under Bucky’s chin and nuzzled into his bare chest. Bucky covered them both with the sheet and blankets. He pet Tony’s hair gently, kissing the top of his head every so often. “How are you feeling, baby?”  
Tony hummed and kissed at Bucky’s skin. “Better than I have in a really long time.”  
Bucky grinned and tightened his arms around the older man.   
He stayed awake long after Tony had drifted off to sleep, thinking about how far they’d come in just a short time. He found that he was also feeling better than he’d felt in years, decades even. Bucky found himself smiling at that thought as he closed his eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've upgraded to an explicit rating. Y'all know what that means...

Bucky awoke to the feeling of lips sliding wetly over his collarbone, up to his neck, then teeth nipping along his jaw. He felt a slow, sleepy smile tug at his mouth. He reached out and slid his flesh fingers into Tony’s hair, tugging gently, angling his head up so Bucky could brush a lazy kiss to his lips. “Well good morning, baby,” he murmured, his voice low and rough with sleep.   
Tony buried his face into Bucky’s neck once more, breathing in the comforting smell of his skin. “Mmm, morning.”  
Bucky looked at the time, seeing that it was barely after 8am. “What’s got you up so early, huh?”  
Tony maneuvered his way onto Bucky so he was lying directly on top of the younger man, and pressed his hips down. Bucky gasped when he felt Tony’s straining erection press into his own morning hardness. “Well. Good reason, you got there.”  
Tony flushed and let his legs spread so he was straddling Bucky’s hips. He sat up, pressing more of his weight against the super soldier’s groin, making them both moan at the tingles sliding up their spines. “You wanna help me out with this?” Tony asked, rocking his hips involuntarily, chasing those pleasurable sensations.   
Bucky grinned and put his arms behind his head, watching Tony lazily. “Think you’re doing a great job on your own, doll.”  
Tony rolled his eyes and leaned down, resting his head on his arms. “Seriously? Gonna kill the vibe just like that?”  
Bucky suddenly grasped Tony’s hips and rolled him onto his back, hovering his upper body over the older man, their hips still pressed together. He bracketed Tony’s head between his arms, dipping down to kiss him softly, barely brushing their lips together. “This alright?”  
Tony’s eyes were closed and he was breathing harder, but he nodded, rocking his hips upwards experimentally. “Can we, uh…can we lose the boxers?”  
Bucky huffed out a chuckle and nodded, pulling away slightly to shimmy out of the remaining piece of clothing on his body. Tony watched, a hungry expression on his face. Bucky leaned back over and let his metal hand trail along the waistband of Tony’s underwear. “Want some help?”  
Tony nodded again, lifting his hips once more. Bucky grasped the fabric and eased it down, watching as more of Tony’s body was exposed. He tossed the garment away, then turned his attention back to the now naked man in his bed. Tony had shifted and gotten comfortable amongst the pillows. Bucky ran his hands up Tony’s legs, caressing him, rubbing his thumbs into the muscles of the older man’s thighs. He paused when his fingers reached where thighs and hips joined, looking up at Tony who was watching him with interest. “Well don’t stop now.” Tony wiggled his hips slightly, smirking. Bucky chuckled and leaned down to press a wet kiss under the man’s navel, letting his nose rub through the trail of hair he encountered. Tony moaned above him, his hand tangling in Bucky’s hair. Bucky left a trail of kisses to first one hip then the other, letting his tongue dip into the V of Tony’s hips. After several moments of teasing, he felt a gentle tug on his hair, and looked up. Tony’s eyes were completely black, half-lidded, a quiet, desperate whine escaping him when Bucky leaned back down, maintaining eye contact, and nipping right above Tony’s pubic bone. “Quit teasing already. Been for-fucking-ever since I’ve been naked with someone. Getting impatient up here.”  
Bucky smirked and nipped again, earning himself another whine. “Just enjoying the view, that’s all. Wanna get you all warmed up for me.”  
Tony rolled his eyes and raised his hips, trying to direct Bucky’s face to his very large, hard, dripping problem. “Consider me very fucking warm. Get on with it please.”  
Bucky nuzzled his nose right next to the base of Tony’s cock. “Since you asked so nicely…” He licked Tony’s cock from base to tip, letting his tongue tease and dip around the head. He looked up and saw that Tony had let his head fall back, his eyes closed, and his mouth falling open in a long, quiet groan. The younger man took this as a good sign. He closed his lips around the tip of Tony’s cock, sucking hard for a moment, basking in the sounds of a gasp, a moan, and the feeling of the sudden jerk of the older man’s hips, before letting the flesh slip out of his mouth again. Tony whimpered at the loss of the hot mouth. He was about to complain, when Bucky slipped him back into his mouth and swallowed him down to the base. Tony let out a loud moaning, “Oh FUUUUCK,” and clenched his hands at his side, holding tight to the blankets beneath him. He was so keyed up he had nearly come. He pulled insistently at Bucky’s hair, making the younger man look up questioningly.   
“Y-you gotta pull back…I’m really f-fuuuhh-fucking close! Please!” Tony kept pulling, trying to tug the younger man away.   
Bucky let himself be pulled away, lips red and shiny with spit and precum, and grinned. “You do realize that’s the point of this, right?” He dipped his head down to kiss Tony’s thighs.   
Tony sighed quietly as the desperate pressure in his groin lessened slightly. “Just don’t wanna finish too fast…again.” He blushed and rubbed at his face, trying to hide his embarrassment.   
Bucky reached his hands up and tangled his fingers with Tony’s. “Baby, I want you to feel good. I don’t care how slow or fast you finish. As long as you’re feelin’ good, that’s what I care about. Okay?” Tony bit his lip and nodded slowly. Bucky beamed and nuzzled the base of Tony’s cock once more. He slid his lips around the head of Tony’s cock once more, bobbing his head up and down slowly, his tongue tracing and pressing at the vein on the underside. The moans and gasps coming from above him were music to his ears. He wriggled his hips against the mattress, leaving a sticky trail across the sheet.   
It was only a few minutes later that Tony squeezed Bucky’s fingers desperately, his moans rising in pitch, his hips jumping sporadically. Bucky swallowed his entire cock down once again, thanking whatever deity there may be that his gag reflex is nearly nonexistent, when Tony cried out loud and came down his throat in long, sticky ropes. Bucky kept sucking gently until Tony whined in discomfort and wiggled, trying to pull away.   
Bucky slid back up to lay next to Tony, pulling the older man into his arms, kissing his sweaty forehead. Tony’s breath slowly evened out, and Bucky thought he had fallen back asleep. He was ready to slip away to take care of himself in the bathroom, when he felt a hand wrap around his cock, rubbing and squeezing experimentally. Bucky moaned, his hips chasing the sensation. Tony looked up shyly, rubbing his palm across the head of Bucky’s cock, making the younger man bite back a desperate groan.   
“Don’t hold back on my account,” Tony murmured, a smirk playing on his lips. “Need the feedback to know I’m doing okay.”  
Bucky huffed out a noise that was half-laugh, half-moan. “Trust me, darlin’. You’re gonna get all the feedback you could ever want if you keep this up.”  
Tony chuckled and looked back down, focusing on his hand rubbing along the thick shaft, his other hand reaching down to cradle and fondle Bucky’s balls. Bucky grasped Tony’s biceps tightly, squeezing hard. “Oh, fuck—Tony, oh God, just like that…I’m gonna—oh Go--TONY!” He cried out, his hips thrusting desperately, releasing all over Tony’s hands and his own stomach, and painting his abdomen white. Tony squeezed the last of the come from Bucky’s cock, making the younger man shiver in too-much pleasure. He got up and washed his hands quickly, bringing back a damp washcloth to wipe off Bucky’s stomach and groin. “You don’t have to--“   
Tony just shushed him gently and cleaned him up, tossing the washcloth away when he was done. Bucky pulled the older man into his arms, stroking his fingers over the beginnings of the bruises on Tony’s upper arms. “Shit, baby, I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  
Tony looked up and smiled. “You didn’t hurt me. I didn’t even feel it honestly.” Bucky leaned down and kissed him slowly, his tongue tracing the plush lower lip and nibbling on it gently, making Tony hum in pleasure.   
“I’ll be more careful, I swear. I ain’t gonna hurt you ever again.”   
Tony could hear the tinge of regret in Bucky’s voice and pressed his forehead against the ex-assassin’s. “Stop it. You didn’t hurt me at all. Quit ruining the afterglow.” Bucky huffed out a humorless laugh, but Tony just kissed him again. “I mean it.”  
Bucky just nodded, nudging Tony’s head to the side and rubbing his nose against a scruffy cheek. Tony sighed softly, wrapping his arms tight around Bucky’s waist. They lay quietly for a long time, before Bucky asked, “How did it all feel for you?”  
Tony smirked and laughed softly. “Was my nearly screaming as I came down your throat not enough for you?”  
Bucky rolled his eyes, tickling Tony’s ribs gently. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay with everything we did.”  
Tony calmed, nodding. “I know. I really liked it. No regrets on my end. I appreciate you checking in.”  
Bucky smiled and kissed the side of the other man’s neck lightly. “I’m glad. I don’t want you to regret anything we do.”  
Tony let out a happy sigh, burrowing further into Bucky’s arms, letting his eyes slip closed. “Hope you know that this has most likely opened the sexiest can of worms ever?”  
Bucky chuckled, feeling himself starting to doze off. “I look forward to it.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shiiiiiit, there's more.   
> I honestly don't really know where things are gonna go from here.   
> Let's all find out together, shall we?  
> I am counting on someone to tell me if this story is getting awful.   
> Please, warn me if I'm beating a dead horse??

Tony wasn’t lying. After they woke up again at 12 pm, what Tony calls “a much more reasonable hour”, the older man pounced on Bucky and they didn’t come out from under the sheets for another 2 hours.   
“Jesus, doll, let me breathe for a second,” Bucky laughed breathlessly as Tony tried to trail kisses down his abdomen again. He tugged the man into his arms and held him tight so he couldn’t get away.   
“Hey, I’m just putting your super soldier stamina to the test. Don’t tell me you can’t keep up,” Tony goaded gently, wiggling in the other man’s grip and prodding Bucky in the ribs playfully.   
Bucky just rolled his eyes and sighed, grabbing Tony’s hand and laying it on his chest. “An hour ago, that may have worked. But I’ve lost too many fluids now.”  
Tony huffed dramatically, flopping back onto the bed. “You don’t love me anymore, I get it. Fine.”  
Bucky rolled over and kissed Tony slowly. “I do so love you, just cuz I’m running on empty doesn’t mean—what? What’s wrong? What did I say?” Tony’s eyes had gone wide and his mouth had slowly dropped open.   
“Y-you—you said—you said that you lo—I uh, I—“ All Tony could do was stutter. He sat up quickly, jumping up from the bed, and started pacing the floor in a panic. “You fucking said that you l-love me, and I was just joking, I mean I think I was joking, but you didn’t have to say it if you didn’t mean it, but fuck, if you don’t mean it, then that’s a super fucked up thing to do to me, I mean goddammit—“  
Bucky had gotten up and grabbed Tony’s shoulders, tugging the older man into his arms. “Tony, baby, I need you to breathe. Take a breath, okay?”  
Tony pulled in a shuddering breath, burying his face in Bucky’s neck. He was shaking slightly. “Y-you don’t have to—if you don’t mean it, I get it, you know?”  
“I do mean it though.” Bucky murmured, pulling back and cupping Tony’s cheek gently. “I love you. And I mean it. And I do not expect you to say it back. You can say it, or not, in your own time. But I said it, and I’m probably gonna say it again. So tell me now if you can’t handle that.”  
Tony stared into Bucky’s eyes; shock and amazement clear on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something, shook his head slightly, then wrapped his arms tight around Bucky’s neck and kissed him hard. Bucky kissed back just as passionately, tugging Tony with him as he sat back down on the edge of the bed. He pulled Tony forward to straddle his lap.   
Tony pulled back and rested his forehead on Bucky’s, panting slightly. “I…I think I might love you back.”  
Bucky grinned and pressed a soft kiss to Tony’s cheek. 

The two men finally emerged from Bucky’s apartment in time for dinner with the team that evening. They helped finish up the cooking on the stir-fry and rice, Tony passing out plates to everyone, when Steve called Bucky into the kitchen.  
“So, you guys finally came out to join the rest of us, huh?” He sounded a little bitter.  
“Yeah, we uh, we’ve had a lot to talk about the last couple days, I guess.” Bucky shrugged a shoulder, mixing the contents of the pan in front of him.   
“Is everything okay?” Bucky couldn’t tell if Steve was actually interested or not.  
“Yeah, we’re doing really well actually. Are you okay, Stevie?” He turned to fully face the taller man, crossing his arms.  
Steve sighed and shrugged. “I dunno, it just…seems like you’re giving up time with everyone else to be with Tony. And I get that this whole thing you’re doing is new, but I can’t help but feel like I’m losing my best friend again.” His voice trailed off sheepishly. He stared down at the floor, shifting from foot to foot nervously.  
Bucky smirked. “Aw, Stevie. Are you jealous?”  
Steve looked up sharply. “What? No. Jeez, Buck. I just…I miss you is all. Feel like we haven’t seen each other in weeks, other than for dinner with the team.”  
Bucky nodded, relaxing his posture. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Steve. I’ll talk to Tony. Tell him we need to do more with everyone else.”  
Steve let a small smile slip across his lips and glanced up at his best friend. “Thank you. So gym, tomorrow morning? You do kinda owe me, for blowing off the last like 2 weeks worth of gym mornings.”  
Bucky laughed. “I’ll be there.”

After dinner, Bucky volunteered himself and Tony to clean up the dishes. Tony glared at him, but Bucky just smiled and said, “We’d be happy to do it, wouldn’t we, babe?”  
Tony sighed as he unloaded all of the clean dishes, while Bucky rinsed the dirty ones in the sink. “Why did you volunteer us for this? We could be doing much more interesting things with our hands right now.”  
Bucky laughed and flicked some water at Tony. “Because I still need to replenish fluids from earlier, and I’m sure you do too. So we can do something nice for our teammates. So we could talk without being tempted to roll around in bed instead.”  
Tony stiffened and looked up. “Talk? About what? Is it about the whole I love you thing, cuz if you’re having second thoughts—“  
“NO! No, Jesus, doll. Nothing like that,” Bucky dropped the plate in his hands and quickly pulled Tony into his arms, ignoring the fact that his hands were dripping wet. “Baby, that isn’t what I was getting at, I swear. I just wanted to talk to you about maybe spending time with the others a bit more. Steve has been feeling kinda neglected, I haven’t been hitting the gym with him and Sam like I normally do. And I know you haven’t been in the lab nearly as much. Not that I’m really complaining about that,” he teased gently, seeing a small smile and eye roll from the other man out of the corner of his eye. “I fucking love spending all this time with you, do not get me wrong about that. But I think it will be healthier for us to spend time with our friends as well. That way you don’t get sick of me quite as fast, yeah?”  
Tony looked up and sighed. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just…fuck all this time has been amazing, and I’m scared that changing anything is gonna fuck it all up.”  
Bucky kissed the older man softly, resting his forehead against Tony’s temple. “I won’t let that happen. Nothing is going to get fucked up. I promise.”  
Tony nodded slowly. “Would it completely insult you if I called Marcia and talked to her about this?”  
Bucky kissed his cheek slowly, grinning. “It doesn’t insult me at all, baby. I’ll finish up here, you go on.”  
Tony smiled gratefully, kissed Bucky softly, and pulled away to go call his therapist.

Bucky walked out of the kitchen just as Tony was hanging up. “All good?”  
Tony nodded, standing up from the couch, burying his face in Bucky’s neck. “I accept your need to have bro time with Steve, and I have definitely been neglecting science bro time with Brucie-bear. But you have to promise me that after dinner and before we pass out, you’re all mine.”  
Bucky grinned and wrapped his arms tight around Tony’s waist, kissing from Tony’s cheek to his neck and back again. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like, with the whole conversation with Steve, my brain was kinda thinking "WinterIronShield? Get Steve in that mix maybe?"  
> But like, would that be too much?   
> Thoughts, anyone?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo It's been a few days. I warned ya, didn't I?  
> This chapter is kinda filler-ish? Idk, I felt like I needed to put something out.  
> Enjoy!

The next morning Bucky woke up far earlier than he had been the last few weeks, which made getting out of the warm embrace of Tony that much harder. His alarm chimed at 5:30am and he groaned tiredly, reaching out to swat at it.   
“The fuck’s that noise?” Tony mumbled into Bucky’s neck.   
Bucky sighed and ran his metal fingers through Tony’s hair. “I gotta get up for the gym, baby. You go back to sleep.” Tony whined and tried the roll on top of Bucky so he couldn’t get up. Bucky just chuckled and slipped out of the blankets, wrapping Tony up tight and kissing his forehead. “Remember to get up at a decent hour so you can have maximum science bro time with Bruce, okay?”  
Tony murmured his agreement and buried his face in Bucky’s pillow, already nearly back to sleep.   
Bucky changed into his gym clothes, grabbed a water bottle and some protein bars from the kitchen, and got into the elevator. The car stopped on his apartment floor, and opened up to let Steve and Sam on. Both grinned at Bucky when they saw him.  
“You made it!” Steve said, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.  
“’Bout damn time you showed up,” Sam said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall. “Sex started to get too boring for you?”  
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Not even having sex, so nothing to worry about on that front.”  
Sam’s eyebrows rose in surprise, and Steve just blushed and ducked his head. “No sex? Shocking. So what do you two do when you’re locked up in your apartment all damn day then?”  
“Can we please drop this? I don’t think I want to know,” Steve mumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously.  
The elevator stopped at the gym floor and they made their way towards the machines.   
Sam hopped onto a treadmill and started jogging. Steve and Bucky went to one of the large sandbags and started wrapping their hands.   
“So…what DO you guys do when you’re together?” Steve asked nervously.  
Bucky just chuckled and raised an eyebrow at his friend. “You really wanna know?” Steve blushed again and shook his head, but Bucky just laughed. “I’m joking. Most of the time we talk, watch something on TV together, maybe read. Or just make out a whole bunch.”  
Steve rolled his eyes. “You coulda stopped at read. Don’t need the image of you two making out in my head.”  
Bucky just shook his head and laughed, setting himself up behind the sandbag, holding it steady. “Come on, old man. Quit being a prude and gimme your best shot.”

Tony woke up again around 9:30am, still sleepy, but knowing that he was already late; Bruce usually got to the lab around 7am. He took a quick shower and pulled on some sweatpants and one of Bucky’s shirts. He went to the kitchen and made a large pot of coffee, pouring most it into a thermos to take down with him. He grabbed an apple to eat, and the thermos, then made his way to the elevator.  
Bruce was already in the lab, as predicted. His lab coat and glasses were on, a frown of concentration on his face, so clearly he was working hard. Tony made his way over, setting the thermos down and leaning against the table, biting into his apple, looking at the holograms and StarkPad Bruce had set up.   
“Whatcha working on, Brucie-bear?”  
Bruce jumped slightly, then caught sight of Tony and smiled. “Hey! What brings you down? It’s been a while.”  
Tony nodded and continued to munch on the apple. “Yeah, figured the honeymoon phase had to end at some point, ya know? Back to reality.”  
Bruce looked sympathetic. “Trouble in paradise?”  
Tony looked up and shook his head. “Oh, no! Nothing like that. We both just kinda figured we’d been neglecting our friends lately. Wanted to get back to a normal routine.”  
Bruce’s face brightened at that. “Good. I’m glad things are going well.” He turned back to his work and started to point things out. “You came at the right time, actually. Could use your help with this.”

Bucky was exhausted after his work out. He was fairly certain Steve was going a little harder than normal to subtly punish Bucky for skipping out on the gym so much. He could have sworn he saw Steve share a laugh with Sam when Bucky got knocked on his ass during their sparring session.   
The three finally decided to call it quits at 12:30. They were all ready for a shower and lunch.   
“Meet up for lunch after we get cleaned up?” Sam asked. The other two men nodded in agreement. They got off the elevator and waved to one another as they entered their apartments.   
Bucky closed his door and sighed heavily, leaning against the door for a moment. He definitely needed that gym session. He always felt a bit clearer in the head after working out and sweating hard. ‘Must be that endorphin rush that I’ve been missing,’ he thought as he made his way to the bathroom for a long, hot shower. 

Bucky met up with Sam and Steve, who decided they were going to get out of the Tower and walk to a nearby café for lunch. Bucky was happy to accompany them; he hadn’t been out of the Tower in ages and needed to get some air. They ended up sitting and talking for several hours, and Bucky realized how much he had missed his friends. He was hoping Tony was having an equally good time with Bruce.

“HOW THE FUCK DID THIS FIRE START AGAIN!?” Tony yelled at Bruce over the sound of the fire alarm, sprinklers, and DUM-E spraying said fire with an extinguisher.  
“YOU LEFT THE TORCH ON AND PUT IT NEXT TO THE GASOLINE AGAIN!” Bruce yelled back, trying to shut the alarm off. Tony was surprised to find that Bruce wasn’t turning green from all the commotion. Chalk it up to him just being used to Tony’s accidental fire starting.   
“OH SHIT, DID I REALLY?!” Tony asked, trying to push DUM-E away and getting doused with the extinguisher for his trouble.   
Bruce finally got the alarm turned off and leant against the wall, sighing. “Yeah. We really gotta move that gasoline away from your work area.”  
“Why do I feel like we said the same thing the last time I started a fire in here?”   
“Cuz we probably did.” Bruce grabbed the spare drop cloths from the fire cabinet and helped Tony start to clean up the mess. 

Bucky was looking around for Tony and Bruce at dinnertime. Just as he was thinking he might need to go down to the lab and drag them away from their work, the elevator dinged, at the science bros walked into the room. Tony’s clothes were singed and damp, and Bruce had some soot and ash on his face.  
“What the hell happened to you two?” Steve asked.  
Bucky gently grabbed Tony and looked him over. Tony just batted him away and smiled. “Minor fire in the lab today. No big deal.”  
“What?! Tony, how the hell—“ Bucky was interrupted by Tony pressing a kiss to his lips.  
“I promise, we’re fine. My own stupid fault. But we have officially found a new home for the gasoline, well away from my workstation. So hopefully no more fires, for a while anyway.” Tony patted Bucky’s cheek lightly and wandered into the kitchen to grab a plate.  
Bucky stared after him for a moment, and then looked at Bruce, who just smiled sheepishly and shrugged. Bucky just shook his head and sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO like, where would y'all like this story to go from here?  
> I'm for serious open to ideas.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is some homophobic language in this chapter. Just a heads up. Tags have been updated accordingly.
> 
> I got some ideas from troyesroyals, and I didn't do EXACTLY what was suggested, but I kinda combined some of the ideas? Sorta but not really? I dunno, I tried lol
> 
> Enjoy!

It was the annual shareholders dinner this weekend, Pepper reminded him. He HAD to go. And Tony was dreading it. Bunch of stuffy old men slowly getting drunk, shaking his hand, touching his shoulders, jostling him around, and hugging him. He shudders at the thought. But Pepper was adamant he attends. “You’re still the face of the business, Tony. I may be CEO, but it’s still YOUR company. I’m sorry.” She had at least looked a little guilty, after he reminded her how much manhandling was involved at these events.   
He was in a foul mood when he showed up at Bucky’s apartment, letting himself in and flopping down on the couch. Bucky looked up from his book and kissed Tony on the cheek lightly. “Rough day, doll?” Tony nodded, explaining the upcoming event to the super soldier. Bucky wrapped an arm around the shorter man, pulling him close. “Sounds like you could use a body guard for the night. If only you knew a one armed ex-assassin who could help you out,” he teased gently.   
Tony looked up, shocked. “You…you wanna go? Like, as my date? I didn’t think you’d want to, I mean, those old bastards are seriously rude and I don’t want them to upset you—“  
“Tony, they’re upsetting YOU right now. I don’t give a shit if they say anything rude to me. I care about them getting on your nerves. Plus,” Bucky smirked and raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eye, “think of how pissy they’ll get when you introduce me as your date. Tony Stark, dating a man, an ex-HYDRA drone of all people. They’ll shit themselves.”  
Tony laughed and cuddled closer. “They’ll still be assholes about it. Horribly homophobic comments will be made. But the looks on their faces… Might just be worth it. You know I love the drama.”  
“They say anything homophobic, I’ll just whip out my metal arm and scare ‘em off.” Bucky flexed said metal arm, letting the plates slide against each other threateningly. Tony just chuckled and kissed him on the cheek.

The dinner started in a little less than an hour. Tony had been dragging his feet about getting ready, trying to distract and entice Bucky with more kisses, promises of blow jobs, anything he wanted. Bucky just kissed him chastely. “Maybe after all the obligatory socialization, I’ll whisk you away and help you relax.” He waggled his eyebrows playfully, forcing a smile onto Tony’s exasperated and agitated face. 

Tony was just straightening his tie when Bucky emerged from the bathroom. His tux fit like a glove, and Tony had to quickly wipe the drool from his lips.   
Bucky held out his bowtie. “I have no fuckin’ clue how to tie this stupid thing.” Tony took it from him and crowded in close, tying it quickly and making sure it was straight, lingering a while to really appreciate the sight the super soldier made. Bucky let his hands rest on Tony’s waist. “You look goddamn edible, you know that?”  
Tony looked up at him and winked. “Well, I try. Just saying, we can always stay here and you can take a few bites…”  
Bucky laughed and squeezed Tony around the middle gently. “You know we can’t. But I’ll take you up on that offer after the dinner.”  
Tony just sighed and nodded, taking one last look at himself in the mirror. “Alright, let’s get this shit show over with already.”

They rode the elevator down to one of the lower floors of the Tower. Tony fidgeted slightly, watching the numbers on the display screen decrease. Bucky slipped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist, and pressed a kiss to his hair gently. “I’m gonna be right next to you the whole night. Promise.”  
The elevator doors opened and Tony tensed. Bucky slid his arm from around Tony’s waist, to take his hand instead, squeezing it gently. He felt Tony relax slightly as they stepped out of the car. They went up to the bar, and Bucky eyed Tony speculatively. “Diet coke, please? Couple ice cubes? Thanks.” Tony ordered, leaning against the bar and glancing around. Bucky pressed close to his side and Tony tilted his body slightly so he could lean more on Bucky than the wooden bar top.  
“TONY! There you are!” A large man with a bristly mustache came over, slapping his hand on the bar.   
Tony flinched at the noise and put on his best fake smile. “Mr. Jenkins. Nice of you to come out for our little soiree this evening.” Bucky instantly hated the leer the man gave in return.  
“Haven’t seen you in ages, m’boy! Where’ve you been hiding?” Jenkins voice was booming and seemed to echo around the already boisterously loud room. Bucky saw a few people look over toward them at the noise.  
“Oh, just been working on some new tech. The work is never done, y’know?” Tony answered smoothly, but Bucky could feel that he was tense and ready to flee at any second. Bucky let go of Tony’s hand and wrapped his arm around his waist again.   
“Who’s this, then?” Jenkins looked at Bucky, and accusatory glint in his eye. “Getting awful handsy there, aren’t you?”  
“Not handsy at all, sir. Could be way worse, but we like to keep that stuff private, know what I mean?” Bucky smirked and tightened his arm around Tony protectively.   
Jenkins turned tomato red at that and turned to look at Tony again. “Who the hell is this, Stark?!”  
“So sorry, I thought you recognized him. James Barnes, ex-assassin for HYDRA, and my boyfriend.” Tony smiled at Jenkins, and leaned against Bucky’s taller frame.   
Jenkins glared at the pair of them and pointed a finger at Tony. “The board will hear about this, Tony. They won’t stand for a f-- a queer running the company!”   
“Excuse me, were you about to call my boyfriend a fag?” Bucky pulled away from Tony and straightened up, flexing his muscles and staring murder at the round man. “Were you really about to use a homophobic slur? Not that queer is any better in this context, but honestly. Fag? Cuz if you were about to call him that, we’re gonna have a big problem, real fast.” Bucky stepped toward Jenkins, who shrank back slightly, still glaring, but now sweating a little. He looked like he was about to say something, thought better of it, and turned to hustle away quickly.   
Bucky relaxed his stance and turned to look at Tony, who was staring at him with a mix of awe and amusement on his face. “That…was amazing. And kinda hot? Is that weird to say?” Bucky just chuckled and took his hand again, leaning over to press a small kiss to the engineers’ lips. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the last run in they had with Jenkins that night. Apparently the mustached man had gone around telling everyone who would listen that Tony Stark was now gay and dating the Winter Soldier. He also said that Bucky had threatened to kill him and he had barely escaped with his life. Bucky just rolled his eyes whenever he heard the whispers, but he could tell Tony was getting more and more agitated. He was tense, barely able to keep his fake smile in place, and kept pulling away from Bucky whenever the super soldier tried to hold his hand or put an arm around him. Bucky backed off after Tony had pulled away for the third time, figuring the smaller man needed some space. The constant rudeness and homophobia was clearly weighing on Tony more and more by the moment.  
After dinner, everyone mingled for cocktail hour. Bucky told Tony he was going to use the bathroom and would be back in a moment.   
That was when Jenkins decided to make his move. He cornered Tony as soon as Bucky was out of the way, the rest of the board members with him. “We’ve all agreed, Stark. This can’t stand. We can’t have you as the face of the company any longer. If this news gets out…” Jenkins looked around at the other board members, who nodded in agreement.  
Tony’s eyes were darting around, looking for a way out but finding himself blocked in. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but feeling the panic rising fast. “I don’t really see what’s so wrong here, guys. This isn’t the 1920s when it was illegal to be gay. Times have changed here, and most people don’t care about sexual orientation. Why is this such an issue?”  
“Your father would never have stood for his son being queer, and you know it!”  
“Well Howard is dead, and I’m the only Stark left. I can’t change who I am, just like you apparently can’t change the fact that you’re a giant bigoted asshole.” Tony crossed his arms, glaring at Jenkins.   
Jenkins growled and lunged, grabbing Tony by the upper arms and shaking him. “Stane should have knocked you down a peg or three when he had the chance!”  
Tony’s eyes went wide, and he tried to pull away, but Jenkins just held tighter.   
Suddenly Bucky broke through the crowd and grabbed Jenkins, breaking the man’s grip on Tony’s arms, and whirling him around. “Big fucking mistake, mister.” Bucky tossed Jenkins none too gently to the ground, sending him sprawling about ten feet away. The other board members ran to help him, while Bucky grabbed Tony’s hand and jogged with him to the elevator.   
Once safely inside, he looked at Tony, who was still wide eyed and was now shaking. “Baby, are you okay? Tony?” He cupped Tony’s cheek gently.  
Tony seemed to snap out of his stare, smacking Bucky’s hand away and backing himself up into the corner of the elevator. “I’m fine. Just…just leave me alone.”  
Bucky just stared, dumbfounded. “Tony, baby, I didn’t mean to—“  
The elevator stopped on Bucky’s level. Tony pointed at the open door. “Just go.”  
Bucky didn’t move, still staring at Tony. “Are you… Did you want to come with—“  
“No. Just…go. I want to be alone. I don’t want you with me.” Tony seemed to stare through Bucky, his gaze hard. He was still shaking.   
Bucky nodded slowly, feeling his heart starting to crack. He backed out of the elevator, still staring at Tony. “Okay. Just…let me know if you need anything.”  
“I won’t. Don’t worry.” Tony sounded so angry. Bucky didn’t know what to say. The elevator door closed on Tony still glaring at Bucky.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk guys. I'm doing my best here.  
> If you hate this, please let me know.   
> I'm gonna go crawl in a hole now. Byeeee

Bucky sat in his living room, staring at the blank screen of his television. He hadn’t changed out of his suit yet; he’d been sitting like this for nearly 2 hours, going over what he possibly could have done wrong. He didn’t feel bad about getting Tony out of that horrible situation. It was obvious the poor man was panicking when that dumbass Jenkins grabbed him and started yelling about Stane. But Bucky obviously did something to upset him, to make the man not want him to touch him, to distance himself from Bucky.   
With a sigh, the super soldier stood up and made his way to his bedroom, tugging his tie loose and unbuttoning his shirt as he walked. Maybe a shower and some sleep would help. If he could even fall asleep, that is. 

Tony paced around his bedroom, fuming. How dare that idiot Jenkins say all that shit to him? How dare he throw his father AND Stane in his face like that? And Bucky…goddammit. The ex-assassin had made a mess that he was sure Pepper was currently dealing with. Tony wouldn’t hear the end of it for a month, at least. And on top of that, he made Tony look weak in front of the entire board. Like he couldn’t fight his own battles. As if his coming out wasn’t bad enough. It was his idea to introduce Bucky as his boyfriend, yes, but—Tony stopped and stared at his reflection in the mirror. What the hell is he gonna do now? The board already wanted him removed because of his sexual orientation. Now that Bucky threw someone across a room in Tony’s defense, they were going to grab the torches and pitchforks and force him out all the faster. This was an absolute nightmare.   
Tony tugged at his hair and sighed. Maybe he needed a shower and a rest. He doubted he’d fall asleep at all though. 

“Boss? Wake up, there’s an alert on floor 35.” FRIDAY’s voice cut through the haze of sleep. Tony jerked awake at the word ‘alert’ and jumped out of bed.   
“What’s the alert, FRI?” Tony pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top.   
“Sargent Barnes is having a nightmare. A bad one,“ FRIDAY replied.   
Tony nodded and made his way to the elevator. “Take me down.”  
As soon as the elevator opened, Tony could hear screaming and banging coming from Bucky’s apartment. Steve and Sam stood in the hallway. Steve had his shield at the ready.   
“Been going on for about 15 minutes,” Sam said. “Hasn’t calmed down any. If anything, he’s gotten louder and more violent.”  
“We didn’t know if we should wake him. He yelled your name a few times, that’s why we had FRIDAY call you. Thought maybe he’d respond better to you.” Steve shrugged.  
Tony nodded and made his way to the door. Steve stopped him just before he reached for the knob. “You may want to suit up, if you go in there.” He looked sheepish.   
Tony tapped the nano-bot housing unit on his chest and a suit materialized around him. He left the helmet off, for now.   
Tony opened the door and found Bucky standing in the middle of his wrecked living room. The couch and chair were torn and thrown onto their sides, the coffee table was broken into several pieces, and the television was smashed and had sparks sputtering out of the torn cables. Looking toward the kitchen doorway, he could see more signs of things being torn up and broken. Bucky had completely trashed the apartment in his sleep, and was still on a rampage.   
Bucky’s eyes were open, but unfocused. Tears were sliding down his cheeks. He was currently ripping at one of the couch cushions and mumbling in Russia.   
“Bucky?” Tony called softly, slowly stepping into the room. He left the door open in case he needed backup. He knew Steve and Sam were watching. “Time to wake up--“   
The cushion suddenly went flying, and then a piece of the coffee table followed it. The cushion hit Tony in the chest, and he managed to duck out of the way as the coffee table piece shattered on the wall, sending splinters flying. “Dammit, Barnes. Wake up, will you? Come on.”  
“Hurt….don’t hurt…not again…” Bucky whimpered as he fell to his knees, hanging his head.   
“No one is gonna hurt you. Come on, just wake up,” Tony took a tentative step toward the man, reaching out as though to touch his shoulder. “Come on, time to wake up. Say something so I know you can—“  
Bucky’s hand shot out and grabbed Tony’s wrist, standing up and spinning Tony so his back was pressed against Bucky’s chest, his arm held in a death grip and twisted behind his back. He could hear the metal of his suit creaking from the tight hold. Bucky held a sharp piece of the coffee table to Tony’s exposed throat and started screaming in Russian again. Sam and Steve ran in.  
“Let him go, soldier! That’s an order!” Steve bellowed. Bucky froze and cocked his head, staring unseeingly at Steve. His grip on Tony lessened slightly, enough that Tony was able to slip his arm free. He ducked away from the piece of wood at his neck, turning quickly and sending a quick blast from his repulsors at Bucky’s abdomen, sending the soldier flying back into the wall.   
As soon as Bucky hit the wall, he woke up. He slid down the wall with a low groan. The other 3 men came over to him, Tony’s repulsors pointed at him, Steve’s shield up protectively in front of himself and Sam. Bucky looked up at the 3 of them and sighed, putting his hands up in defeat.   
“Don’t shoot.”   
The others relaxed. Tony tapped the housing unit on his chest and his armor fell away. Steve helped Bucky to his feet and clapped him gently on the back. Bucky looked around at the mess he’d made and cursed softly, his face falling at the sight.   
“We’ll get it fixed, don’t worry.” Sam said, offering a small smile, which Bucky didn’t return.   
“Go on back to bed, guys. I’m sorry I woke you up. I don’t…I’m just really sorry.” Bucky scrubbed his hands over his face, feeling mortified and miserable.   
Steve looked like he wanted to stay, but Sam just nudged him gently and nodded towards the door. They both left and returned to their own apartments.   
Bucky stepped over the remains of the chair, nudging debris with his bare foot. He realized he must have stepped in broken glass at one point when he saw the trail of blood on the carpet in the shape of his footprint leading away from the shattered remains of a jar in between the kitchen and the hallway. He lifted his foot and tugged a few pieces of glass out, barely feeling the sting the action caused.   
“You should come up to my room,” Tony said softly. Bucky jumped at his voice and looked around sharply; not realizing Tony was still there.   
“No, it’s okay. I should have an old sleeping bag in my closet. I’ll just use that after I get some of this cleaned up.”  
Tony shook his head. “Come on. Leave all this for now. I’ll make some calls in the morning and get it fixed up.” He walked toward the door, and then turned back at Bucky, who hadn’t moved. “You coming?”  
Bucky shook his head. “I shouldn’t. You’re angry. You need time away from me. I’ll just stay here—“  
“I am angry with you. But I’m not letting you stay here. Now come on.” Tony opened the front door and started to walk toward the elevator. Bucky looked around the room once more before following him.   
The ride up to the penthouse was silent, both men lost in thought. They got out and made their way toward Tony’s bedroom. Bucky sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Tony grabbed a blanket and pillow from the closet. Bucky stood up quickly and reached for them, but Tony just shook his head. “I’ll be in the lab if you need anything. Just try not to trash this floor too bad, okay?”   
“Tony, please don’t go. Please.” Bucky’s voice sounded shaky, making Tony pause in the doorway. “I’m so sorry, doll. I know I fucked up tonight, in more ways than one. Please, talk to me. Let me fix it. Please.” Tony turned and saw Bucky staring at the carpet, looking sadder than Tony had ever seen him.   
He sighed and walked back toward the bed and Bucky, tossing the pillow and blanket to one side. He crossed his arms, tried to look angry, but he was fairly certain his expression just looked hurt and lost. “I’m angry at you but I don’t even think it’s for a good reason. I’m angry at those board member assholes who said all that homophobic shit to us. I’m angry that they’re trying to get rid of me. But when you threw Jenkins…that was just the kind of shit they needed to throw me out even faster. They’re gonna call my ability to lead into question, they’re gonna call my goddamn sanity into question, most likely! I know you were doing it to protect me, but now I just feel weak. I feel like they think I can’t fight my own battles, and that I’m too weak and soft to be the face and name of this company. That I’m just living up to whatever Howard and Stane said I was behind my back. That I need other people to fix my problems for me, cuz I’m too fucking fragile to do it myself. I shouldn’t be mad at you for defending me, but I am.”   
Bucky stared at Tony as he said all of this, feeling horrible. That hadn’t been his intention, at all. He hadn’t intended to make the board think so little of Tony. He just wanted to get Tony away from that man, who had grabbed him and yelled at him and put that awful look of fear in Tony’s eyes. “Tony… I swear, I didn’t mean…I’m so…I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to fix this. I just… I’m sorry.” His voice broke and trailed off.   
Tony sighed and let his arms drop to his sides, dropping his head to stare at the foot of the bed. “I know you didn’t mean to. And I don’t think there really is a way to fix it right now. I’m gonna have a lot of meetings and a lot of shit from Pepper to deal with. But I’ll figure it out. Just…for now maybe we shouldn’t… be public about us.”  
Bucky looked up. “Maybe…we shouldn’t be together at all?” Tony looked up sharply, frowning. Bucky glanced up and shrugged. “I don’t want to cause more issues for your job. So maybe the best thing for us is to…not be together. You could call it a lapse in judgment; tell them I’m not in the picture anymore. Maybe that’ll smooth some things out.”  
Tony felt tears well up in his eyes. He cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice steady. “Is that…what you want?”  
Bucky shook his head. “No. But it’s what’s best for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Sorry.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I should just stick to one shots from now on.   
> I don't even know what to do with this nonsense anymore.

“No. Fuck that. No.” Tony shook his head and walked closer to Bucky, stopping right in front of him. “Look, is this gonna be hard? Yes. Are we gonna need to be more low key with all this? Yes. Do I want to end our relationship—the best fucking relationship I’ve had in, probably, my whole life, I might add? FUCK NO!” Tony tentatively reached for Bucky’s metal hand and traced the plates with his fingertip. “I’m angry and I’m upset right now. But that doesn’t mean I want to break up. Granted, the old me would have cut and run like a dumbass, but this is the new me, the therapy me. If I broke this off, do you know the amount of shit I’d get from my therapist? She fucking loves you. Do you know how often I fucking gush about you during our sessions?” He saw Bucky’s lips quirk up slightly at that. “I don’t want to break up. Not one bit. I love you.” He grasped Bucky’s metal hand and squeezed gently. After a moment, Bucky squeezed back. Tony breathed out a sigh of relief.   
Bucky looked up and stared at Tony’s face for a moment. “Can I hug you, doll?” Tony nodded and stepped into Bucky’s embrace, breathing in the scent of the other man. “I’m sorry, Tony. I really am. I didn’t mean to upset you and make you angry. I didn’t mean to throw that jackass across the room. I just… He grabbed you, and I saw red.” He tightened his arms around Tony’s waist. “I could see how scared you were and I just couldn’t stand it. I didn’t think…”  
Tony shushed him gently. “I get it. And when I’m less pissed I will see how extremely romantic that was. I just gotta get over this first.”  
Bucky nodded. “I understand.”  
Tony pulled back slightly and placed a small kiss on Bucky’s lips. “Let’s go to bed. I think we can both use the rest.” Bucky smiled and turned to pull the covers back. 

The next morning, Tony woke up in Bucky’s arms. He remembered when they went to bed that they had both agreed not to cuddle in order to give each other space. Guess sleep-Tony didn’t agree to that, he thought, looking up at Bucky’s sleeping face. The man looked so calm; so different from how he looked last night when he was in the middle of his nightmare.   
“You just gonna stare at me all morning, doll?” Bucky asked, his eyes still closed, a small smile stretching across his lips. Tony nudged Bucky in the chest, making the younger man chuckle and pull the older man closer. “Guess we ended up cuddling after all. Sorry about that.”  
Tony shrugged and tucked his head under Bucky’s chin. “Oh well. We tried.”  
Bucky buried his face in Tony’s hair and sighed. He knew Tony had a rough road ahead, but he was glad the man refused to give up on their relationship. He was glad they had this moment of peace and quiet together.   
FRIDAY’s voice broke through the silence and made both men tense up. “Boss? Miss Potts is in the elevator. She requests you, and I quote, ‘put your big boy pants on and get your ass out to greet her right this second’.”   
Tony sighed and turned his head up toward the ceiling. “Tell her I’ll be right there.” He looked up at Bucky, and gave him a sad smile. “Duty calls. I’ll… see you tonight?”  
Bucky raised his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn’t thought Tony would want to see him after meeting with Pepper. “I—uh. Yeah, of course. I’ll be here.”  
Tony smiled and pressed a light kiss to his lips. “Wish me luck.” He slipped out of Bucky’s embrace and stepped into his closet to get dressed. 

“I won’t lie. This is an utter shit show.” Pepper said, watching Tony make a large pot of coffee. “They’re demanding your immediate removal, there is talk of a lawsuit from Jenkins. We’re a little bit fucked here, Tony.”  
Tony sighed and nodded. “What’s the plan then?” He turned and leaned against the counter as the coffee percolated, watching Pepper look over her email on her StarkPad.   
“Well, we need to hold a board meeting and talk all this out. They are pissed though, and out for blood. So you better be ready for a whole bunch of ugly from those guys.” Pepper looked up and gave Tony a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry for how they treated you. And I’m sorry for how we both know they’re going to treat you. But we have to get through this. Okay?”  
Tony nodded and offered his own sad smile. “I know. Thanks, Pep. So when are we doing this meeting then?”  
Pepper looked at her watch. “In…2 hours. I emailed you your talking points, so you might want to look those over.”  
Tony grabbed two travel mugs and filled them up, handing one to Pepper. “Alright, let’s do this.”

Tony walked into the boardroom, and all conversation ceased. Everyone turned to watch as he and Pepper entered and took their seats.   
“Good morning, everyone,” Pepper said as she got settled. “I trust everyone knows why we’re here. I would like to remind everyone that we want to keep things civil and—“  
“Civil? You call getting thrown across a room CIVIL?!” Jenkins stood up and pointed at Tony. “Your little body guard isn’t here today, Stark. It’s just you and me.”  
“THIS is exactly what I’m talking about,” Pepper spoke up loudly, glaring at Jenkins. “We WILL be civil and we WILL keep on task. Now then—“  
“All we want is THAT “MAN” out of here,” Jenkins actually used air quotes around the word “man”, making Tony roll his eyes and cross his arms. “We all know that someone like him isn’t fit to run this company, and this isn’t just coming from us. Howard Stark himself had said—“  
“I do not give two shits what my father had to say about homosexuals,” Tony interrupted, glaring hard at Jenkins from across the table. Next to him, Pepper dropped her head into her hands. “I have been running this company perfectly well for the last 20-some years. Literally the only thing that has changed in that time is that I am now “out”, for lack of a better term. I have been this way since birth. Now I have a boyfriend, and I’m suddenly unfit? Do you realize how ludicrous that is? I am not going to step down. This is my company. You guys cannot make me leave—“  
“We can vote you out. And I’m sure that everyone here will back me up when I say that we all—“  
“Jenkins has been threatening all of us to agree with him. He’s wanted you out for years, and it’s only gotten worse ever since Stane died. He—he threatened to have my son hurt.” An older woman named Sonya spoke up suddenly.  
Jenkins suddenly went pale and spluttered in response. “That is…I have never…How DARE YOU—!“  
“Sit. Down. Mr. Jenkins.” Pepper stood up and stared Jenkins down until he sat. “Is this true, everyone?” Slowly, every person around the table began to nod. Jenkins opened his mouth to speak, but Pepper held up her hand. “I am going to need details and written statements from everyone. FRIDAY, I need security up here now.”  
“They are en route, Miss Potts.” FRIDAY replied.   
“I believe it is fair to say that Mr. Stark will continue to be the name and face of this company?” Pepper asked. Again, nods from everyone at the table. “Then I believe we’re done here. I will meet with each of you individually to discuss your written statements.” There was a knock at the door, and three security guards entered. Pepper pointed at Jenkins. “That is who you want. Take him down to level 9, I’ll be right behind you.” Security walked over to Jenkins and took him by the arm. Jenkins jerked his arm out of the guard’s hold, but followed them out of the room, throwing one last glare at Pepper and Tony.

After several more meetings, talking with each member of the board individually, and calling the police to take in Jenkins after SHIELD interrogated him (just in case he was a bigger threat, of course), Tony was in the elevator heading back to his own floor. He leaned heavily against the wall and sighed, his mind still reeling from all of the information he learned. Jenkins had told the board that if anything were said to himself or Pepper he’d have them demoted or fired. As time went on, he began upping the ante, threatening family members welfare, threatening lives. They were all scared of him, all claiming he’d told them he had “friends in high places”, but none of them really knowing what that meant.   
‘I really need new board members,’ Tony thought. ‘Ones who aren’t so easily swayed by bullshit like that.’  
The elevator opened and Tony frowned when he saw that the lights were off. There was just a dim glow of light coming from the dining room. He stepped out carefully, looking around each corner in case of a threat.  
“FRI, what’s going on here?” He murmured as he stepped closer to the dining room.  
“I have been sworn to secrecy, boss,” FRIDAY replied. “But I can assure you, there is no current threat you need to be aware of.”  
Tony still didn’t relax. He turned the corner, ready to deploy his suit if need be. He stopped dead when he saw the table. Candles, a bouquet of flowers, and 2 place settings already set up. Bucky came out of the kitchen carrying a covered pan and spatula. He smiled when he saw Tony.  
“Just in time. FRIDAY told me when things were winding down, so I tried to time everything right. Hope you’re hungry.”  
Tony just stared at him in shock. “What…is all this?”  
Bucky set the pan in the middle of the table and started dishing chicken alfredo onto the plates. “I made dinner, just for us. Figured you’d need some time to relax after today.” He looked up, suddenly nervous. “It’s too much, isn’t it? Maybe you want time to yourself. Shit, I just thought… I’ll clean it up. You can eat yours and I’ll head down to Steve’s. I’m sor—“  
Tony held up his hand. “You did this for me? All of this? After how shitty I was to you?”  
Bucky shrugged. “I know I messed up. You had every right to be shitty. Plus this morning you seemed less angry. Figured I would try to build on that?” He looked up hopefully.   
Tony crossed the room quickly and pressed a slow kiss to Bucky’s lips. “This looks…absolutely amazing. I don’t know what to… Thank you.”  
Bucky grinned and kissed him back, leaning his forehead against Tony’s. “Anything for you, doll.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this a cop out to the angst from the last chapter? Oh HELL yeah.   
> Do I care? I'm mean...yeah. But I'm bad with angst, so this is what happens.
> 
> Thoughts? Suggestions? Things you want to see in the future?  
> For the love of god, please tell me! I have no ideas! Lol


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shout out to troyesroyals for the idea for this chapter. Amazing ideas flow out of them, and I attempt to do them justice.   
> Fluff abounds! Hopefully tooth rotting sweetness! Fingers crossed!  
> Enjoy!

Tony and Bucky were making out on the couch in the common area when the rest of the team walked in. Tony was straddling Bucky’s lap, his hands buried in the man’s long, soft hair, and Bucky had his hands under Tony’s shirt, sliding over his ribs. A sudden cough followed by a wolf whistle forced them apart. Tony whipped his head around, his body tensed as though preparing to run away, looking nervous.   
“You guys, uh, mind if we start the movie now?” Steve asked, face flushed. Beside him Clint was grinning and trying to start a slow clap.  
“Why watch a movie when we have free entertainment right here?”  
Natasha just rolled her eyes and pushed Clint into a chair.  
Tony relaxed slightly, and sat down on the couch next to Bucky, readjusting his clothes with a quiet huff. Bucky just winked at Steve playfully, who blushed brighter as he put the DVD in the player. The others took their seats and turned their attention to the TV screen.  
Tony looked around, noticed that no one was looking at them, and proceeded to cuddle up close to Bucky, tucking himself under the metal arm and laying his head on Bucky’s hard chest. He draped his arm across Bucky’s abdomen and grabbed Bucky’s flesh hand in his. He was feeling clingy tonight sue him.   
Bucky just smiled and dropped a kiss to Tony’s hair. He wasn’t used to Tony being so touchy-feely in front of the rest of the team. Sure, they held hands or had an arm around one another, but nothing quite like this. He knew it was something Tony still struggled with. Ever since that disastrous dinner, Tony was even more hands-off in front of other people than usual; even people he knew wouldn’t judge their relationship. It was something Tony had told him he was working on in therapy. Bucky was always patient, always letting Tony take the lead on how much affection they showed one another in public. He was glad that tonight they were branching out a bit.   
Tony pressed closer and nudged his head under Bucky’s chin, rubbing it back and forth.   
“You want something, doll?” Bucky murmured in Tony’s ear.  
“Will you play with my hair? Please?” Tony asked in a soft voice.   
Bucky kissed the top of his head and smiled. “Of course I will.” He pulled his metal arm from around Tony’s shoulders and let his fingers scratch lightly at Tony’s scalp, ruffling and smoothing his hair in slow, comforting motions. Tony sighed and hummed, closing his eyes happily, pleased with the gentle movements.   
Natasha turned her head and smiled when she saw the two of them cuddled together. She caught Bucky’s eye and smiled wider, making him blush and beam shyly. She noted how happy and content they both looked, before turning back to the movie, still smiling to herself.   
Tony started to doze off, calmed by the pets he was receiving, the low sound of the movie--Steve had chosen another romance movie, the sap, Tony thought fondly to himself. The sound of Bucky’s heart beating steadily under his ear, making his own heart rate slow down. It was all so relaxing; he couldn’t help but start to fall asleep. 

The movie ended about 2 hours later, and the team started to get up to head back to their apartments. Steve looked over at Bucky and Tony to find both men had fallen asleep. Tony was tucked close to Bucky’s chest, and Bucky had his head resting on top of Tony’s, his arms wrapped protectively around the older man. Both had small smiles on their lips as they dozed.   
The rest of the team looked over and saw what Steve was staring at. Clint grinned and looked like he was about to make a comment when Bruce nudged him and shook his head. Instead everyone just smiled at the sight, and quietly left. Natasha snapped a quick picture on her phone before departing. She would send it to the couple in the morning with a comment about how adorable they looked. (And if Tony happened to save the picture, frame it, and put it on his bedside table so he saw it when he woke up in the morning, then that was his business.)

Bucky stirred first, only a few minutes after the team had left. He looked around to find the room deserted and the lights still low. He looked down at Tony and grinned at the soft snore the man let out before nuzzling his face deeper into Bucky’s chest and letting out a happy sigh. Bucky slowly untangled himself from Tony’s arms, earning a quiet, sleepy whine from the other man. He carefully slid his arms under Tony’s body, and lifted him easily, carrying him bridal style back to Tony’s bedroom. He laid Tony onto the bed, thankful the blankets were already pulled down—Tony hated making his bed and often left the blankets strewn all over the place.   
Tony started to wake up as Bucky slipped his arms out from under his body. “Di’ I fall ‘sleep?”   
Bucky chuckled softly and knelt down, stroking Tony’s hair away from his forehead. “Yeah, but so did I, so don’t worry.”   
“Where d’you think you’re goin’? Get in bed,” Tony demanded in a tired voice with no actual force behind his words.   
Bucky pressed a kiss to his lips and rubbed his nose over Tony’s gently. “Just gonna use the bathroom, then I’ll be back. I’ll be quick, promise.”  
Tony grumbled as Bucky pulled the blankets over him. “Better be quick, dammit.” Bucky just laughed softly before making his way to the bathroom.   
Bucky returned a few minutes later to find Tony curled around Bucky’s pillow, his face buried in the plush softness. Bucky sat on the edge of the bed and traced his fingertips over the back of Tony’s neck. “Whatcha doin’, baby?”  
Tony hummed and turned his head so one eye peeked up at the ex-assassin. “Smellin’ you. Y’smell nice.”  
Bucky smirked playfully and leaned down to kiss Tony’s cheek. “Yeah? So you’d rather smell my pillow than the real me?”  
Tony shook his head and pushed the pillow away before making grabby hands at Bucky. The super soldier allowed himself to be pulled down on the bed. Tony tugged at Bucky’s shirt and made a frustrated noise. Bucky laughed and pulled it off, tossing it away. He noted Tony had removed his own shirt and pants while Bucky was in the bathroom, leaving the older man in just his boxers.   
As soon as Bucky’s torso was bare, Tony curled up tight against him, pressing his face into Bucky’s neck and sighing. He had been craving skin-to-skin contact something fierce. Bucky wrapped his arms tight around the smaller man, tracing patterns across the skin of Tony’s back slowly. Tony just hummed and let his eyes slip closed, clinging gently to Bucky’s muscular body.   
“You okay, honey?” Bucky whispered, not wanting to disturb their peaceful bubble, but feeling like he needed to ask.   
Tony gave a small nod. “Just…kinda clingy tonight. Sorry.”  
“Baby, don’t you dare be sorry. I just wanted to make sure nothing had happened.” Bucky placed a light kiss to Tony’s temple, leaving his lips pressed there for a moment.   
Tony shook his head. “No, nothing bad. Just…needy, I guess. I know we cuddle and all, fairly often, I just kinda needed it more tonight, for some reason.”  
“I understand,” Bucky replied simply. And he did understand. There were definitely days where all he wanted her kisses and cuddles and comfort. He was more than happy to provide that whenever Tony wanted. “How did you feel about cuddling in front of the others tonight?”  
Tony thought for a moment before answering. “I was nervous. But I think my need for touch won out. I tried not to show how scared I was, but I just had these images of everyone getting upset or disgusted. Not that any of them seemed to care in the past. But with everything that’s happened lately…” he trailed off and hid his face deeper in Bucky’s neck.   
Bucky pulled back slightly, making Tony look up in confusion. Bucky bent down to press and slow kiss to Tony’s lips. “I don’t think anyone on the team has an issue with us. And if they did, I would kick their ass.” Tony huffed out a chuckle at this. “I want you to be comfortable. That’s the most important thing to me. And I’m glad that tonight you were willing to cuddle up in front of the others. I’m sure Marcia will be proud of you, when you tell her.”  
Tony nodded, blushing lightly. He pressed another kiss to Bucky’s mouth, licking lightly across the seam of Bucky’s lips. He wasn’t feeling very tired anymore. “No more talking. I wanna make out. Make up for getting interrupted earlier.”  
Bucky laughed into another kiss, nipping lightly at Tony’s bottom lip. “Sounds like a plan, doll.”  
Tony pushed Bucky onto his back and lay on top of him, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, rubbing his tongue against Bucky’s and moaning softly. Bucky let his hands travel up Tony’s back, then let the nails on his flesh hand lightly scratch back down. Tony shivered and rocked his hips down. Now it was Bucky’s turn to moan, pressing his hips upward in response.   
“Fuck, baby. Thought you just wanted to make out,” Bucky growled softly, tugging at Tony’s hair as the older man bit lightly along his jaw.   
“That’s what we’re doing, isn’t it?” Tony teased, letting one of his hands slide down Bucky’s muscular stomach and tease at the waistband of his sweatpants. Bucky’s head fell back with a groan, tilting his hips up again, trying to make Tony’s hand slide lower. Tony slipped the tips of his fingers under the elastic, inching them downward at an agonizingly slow pace.   
Bucky lightly tugged at Tony’s hair again, making Tony look up. “Either quit teasing and get to it, or stop all together. You’re killing me here, baby.” Tony just smirked and slid his hand the rest of the way down, wrapping his fingers lightly around Bucky’s cock. Bucky fell back against the pillows with a gasp, thrusting his hips involuntarily. Tony slid down Bucky’s body, tugging the other man’s pants and boxers down as he went, until his face was hovering over Bucky’s groin. Bucky tilted his head back up and cupped Tony’s jaw, stopping him. “You don’t hafta do that, doll. We can just kiss—“  
“I want to. Now hush.” Tony replied, nipping gently just under Bucky’s bellybutton. Bucky stroked his thumb over Tony’s cheek and smiled. Tony kissed and nibbled his way down to the base of Bucky’s cock, grasping the shaft gently and licking around the base, sucking a kiss to the underside, making Bucky widen his legs and whine quietly. Tony grinned to himself and licked up to the tip, teasing his tongue around the tip. Bucky’s hand fell to the top of Tony’s head, stroking through his hair, but being careful not to pull or force Tony’s head around. Tony slipped the tip into his mouth and sucked softly, quiet slurping noises and breathy moans filled the air around the two men.   
After a minute of gentle suction, Tony slid his mouth the rest of the way down; relaxing his throat and humming as he let the rest of Bucky’s sizeable cock fill him up. Bucky let out a soft cry of pleasure when Tony swallowed around him, both hands sliding into Tony’s hair, his back arching hard in pleasure.  
“I’m not gonna last… Fuck, baby doll, you gotta slow down,” Bucky whimpered, gently tugging Tony’s hair, trying to pull him off.  
Tony just batted his hands away with a playful glare, sucking and swallowing harder. Bucky fell back again, his hips twitching, whining desperately. It only took another few seconds until Bucky cried out softly and came down Tony’s throat. Tony swallowed it all down, moaning softly. Bucky squirmed as he became too sensitive.   
Tony pulled back slowly, wiping his swollen lips and grinning up at Bucky. Bucky panted quietly, tugging Tony into his arms and kissing the older man softly. “Shit, baby. I… Oh my God…”  
Tony chuckled and kissed Bucky’s stubbled cheek. “I believe my job here is done.”  
Bucky rolled Tony over onto his back, purposefully laying next to Tony rather than on top of him, not wanting the older man to feel trapped. He pressed kisses to Tony’s neck, nipping his way down to his chest. Tony caught him by the hair and tugged him back up. Bucky looked up, confused. “What’s the matter? It’s your turn, baby.”  
Tony shook his head, blushing. “I’m good. I, uh… I already…” Bucky looked down and saw the large wet spot at the front of Tony’s boxers. He looked back up and smiled.  
“You sure you don’t want another one?”  
Tony just laughed and pulled Bucky back up next to him, cuddling in close and stroking his fingers over the scar where flesh and metal joined. “I’m sure. Just wanna cuddle ‘til we pass out now.”  
Bucky grinned and buried his face against the top of Tony’s head, holding the other man as close to his chest as possible. “Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't help adding a little smut in as well. Sorry not sorry


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember me??  
> Been a hot minute, hasn't it. Sorry about that. I did warn you though.   
> Sooooo this is the last chapter. Cuz I am officially out of ideas for the mammajamma.

Tony paced nervously, fiddling with his tie, checking himself in the mirror over and over; making sure nothing about him was out of place. Steve walked in, making Tony jump at the sound of the door clicking shut.  
“You okay?” Steve asked, smiling gently, a slight teasing glint in his eyes.  
Tony rolled his eyes and huffed. “Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?” His voice cracked, giving away his obvious nerves.  
Steve just chuckled and patted Tony on the shoulder gently, noting how Tony didn’t flinch or try to pull away. “He’s a wreck too, just so you know.” Tony turned his head to hide his smile.   
Steve looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s about that time. You ready to go?” Tony took a deep breath and nodded slowly, but didn’t move. Steve glanced back at him, already halfway towards the door. “What’s wrong?”  
“Is this a mistake? Are we going too fast? Are we gonna realize this was just an idiotic idea and it’ll blow up in our faces in a year?” Tony stared at the floor, studying his shoes as he spoke.  
Steve walked back over and held both of Tony’s shoulders. “No. To all of the above. I’ll tell you what I told him not 30 minutes ago. You two are in love. It’s obvious to everyone who looks your way. You’ve been together for what, 2 years now? Almost 3? If things were going to blow up, wouldn’t it have happened already? This isn’t going to change anything, other than your names on a piece of paper.”  
Tony nodded slowly through Steve’s speech, looking up into the other man’s eyes, determination shining on his face. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Bucky looked up and grinned as Tony walked down the aisle, an absolute vision in his navy suit. Everyone was standing and smiling as he walked toward the alter they had set up, but Tony and Bucky only had eyes for one another. Both men’s eyes were shining with unshed tears by the time they had said their vows and Steve had officially declared them married. Bucky had tugged Tony close and kissed him with all the love and passion he could muster into a still-fairly-appropriate kiss. Their friends and teammates cheered and clapped as they walked back down the aisle hand in hand, as husbands, twin grins on their faces.   
The reception was fun and a bit emotional as Steve and Rhodey made speeches about their best friends. Tony had had to hide his face in Rhodey’s shoulder as they hugged so no one could see the happy tears slide down his cheeks. They danced and laughed for hours until finally it was time for the party to end, and for the couple to make their way to Tony’s private jet to begin their honeymoon. 

They both collapsed onto the queen bed in the back of the plane once they had reached cruising altitude, sighing deeply with exhaustion.   
“I think it was a success, doll,” Bucky murmured, reaching out blindly for Tony’s hand and giving it a squeeze.   
“I think you’re correct,” Tony replied, rolling over and tucking himself into Bucky’s chest.   
Bucky dropped a kiss to Tony’s hair and sighed happily, relaxing for a few moments before tugging Tony to sit up. “Let’s get out of these clothes so we can get some sleep.”  
Tony smirked up at his husband and wiggled his eyebrows. “He says sleep, like that’s actually going to happen.” Bucky laughed and shook his head, starting to undress. Tony leaned back on his elbows and watched. “Take it off, baby. Take it aaalllll off!”  
Bucky laughed again and threw his shirt at Tony, who caught it and cheered. “If I didn’t know you were sober, I would swear you were drunk.” Bucky grabbed Tony’s hand and pulled him to his feet, kissing him to quiet his cheers. “Get undressed already, dammit.”  
“Oh, yes sir.” Tony quipped, shucking his pants off quickly.  
Once they were both in just their boxers, they climbed under the blankets and snuggled close to one another. Tony pressed a slow kiss under Bucky’s jaw, nibbling lightly at the stubbled skin, making Bucky groan quietly.   
“You trying to start something there, doll?” Bucky asked, voice low and husky, tugging at Tony’s hair. Tony just hummed in response, nipping and tugging at Bucky’s earlobe, one of his hands snaking under the waistband of Bucky’s boxers and grabbing a handful of his husband’s ass. Bucky growled and rolled over, pulling the other man on top of him, pinning Tony’s hand under his body.   
“Excuse me, I need that hand.” Tony squeezed Bucky’s ass again, making the younger man chuckle.   
“Maybe I want to play with you a bit first.” Bucky replied, sliding one hand down Tony’s back, the other holding the back of Tony’s neck, pressing their foreheads together.   
Tony squirmed, grinding his hardening cock against Bucky’s. “You better get on with it then, Sarge.”  
Bucky rolled them over once more, gently pinning Tony underneath him, kissing him lightly. “This okay, baby?”   
Tony squirmed again, tilting his hips up to press against Bucky’s. “Swear to God, if you stop, I will throw you out of this plane without a parachute.”  
Bucky huffed out a laugh, kissing down Tony’s neck. He pressed his lips lightly around the large scar in the center of Tony’s chest, glancing up to make sure his husband was still alright.   
Tony let out a soft whine, sliding his hand into Bucky’s hair and tugging softly. “I mean it. Enough with the gentle, get to the main event.”  
Bucky bit sharply above Tony’s bellybutton, making the older man whine again. “Let me be gentle with my new husband, dammit.”   
Tony huffed softly and dropped his head back on the pillows. Bucky took that as his cue to proceed. He continued his slow progression of kisses and the occasional love bites until he was stopped by the only remaining piece of clothing his husband wore. He pressed an open mouthed kiss to the sizeable bulge straining the front of Tony’s boxers, making the older man groan and buck his hips several times. Bucky dragged his tongue from the base of Tony’s cock to the tip, tonguing a wet spot into the fabric. Tony squirmed his hips and made an impatient noise, reaching down to tug on Bucky’s hair.   
Bucky let out an amused huff and decided to take pity on the older man, biting the waistband of Tony’s underwear and pulling it down. Tony looked down and moaned at the sight, lifting his hips to help get the offending garment off faster.  
Bucky tossed the fabric behind him and leaned his cheek against Tony’s hip, looking up at his husband and smiling. “Have I told you how damn sexy you are?”  
Tony rolled his eyes but smirked back. “You can tell me after you blow me.”  
Bucky laughed and shook his head. “Always the romantic, ain’t ya doll.”  
Tony rolled his eyes and was about to make a snarky comment, when Bucky suddenly swallowed his cock down, making Tony cry out in pleasured surprise. Bucky smirked around his mouthful, humming around Tony’s sizeable cock, causing another shocked noise to escape the older man. Tony’s back arched, and he grabbed two handfuls of Bucky’s hair, trying and failing to not buck his hips.   
Bucky slowly slid Tony’s cock from his mouth, probing his tongue teasingly against the slit, making Tony’s legs shake on either side of his head. “You don’t have to hold back, baby. Gimme all you got.” He slipped Tony’s cock back into his mouth, sucking hard on the tip, making Tony whine and shake once more. Bucky’s teeth barely brushed just under the head of Tony’s cock which seemed to switch something inside of Tony. He grabbed Bucky’s hair once more and started thrusting hard into the younger man’s mouth, making Bucky moan and gag. Bucky squirmed his hips against the mattress beneath him, loving the sudden rough handling.   
Tony made it through a couple dozen thrusts before he was gasping out a warning. “I’m gonna…oh FUCK...baby I’m so clos—”  
Bucky just moaned and hummed which tipped Tony over the edge with a hoarse shout of Bucky’s name. Bucky swallowed down all Tony spilled into his mouth, groaning happily as he pulled off.   
Tony lay back against the pillows, completely spent and breathless. Bucky crawled his way back up the bed, pressing soft, wet kisses to Tony’s neck and jawline. “Worth the wait, I hope?”  
Tony huffed out a chuckle, reaching up to weakly stroke his fingers against Bucky’s stubbled cheek. Bucky turned his head to kiss the palm of his husbands’ hand, nuzzling gently against his fingers, making Tony hum softly.   
Tony was just starting to drift to sleep, soothed by the extra body warmth against his side, when he suddenly jerked himself awake with a gasp. Bucky looked up, confused. “Baby? What’s wrong?”  
“You didn’t--! I didn’t--! SHIT I’m so sorry, I didn’t!” Tony sat up and put his head in his hands.  
Bucky sat up, still confused. “Gonna need you to try that one again in English, doll.”  
Tony sighed and dropped his hands. “I didn’t return the favor! You got me off, and it was fucking awesome, and I didn’t even have half the human decency to return the goddamn favor!”  
Bucky laughed and tugged his husband close to him, laying them both down again. “Baby. We have a whole honeymoon to even the playing field. We’re both exhausted. I promise to let you return the favor when we land.”   
Tony grumbled, but cuddled into Bucky’s chest anyway, exhaustion creeping up on him fast. “I’m gonna return the favor. You better fuckin’ believe it. Not gonna know what fucking hit you, Sarge.”  
Bucky laughed and nodded. “I know, doll.” He dropped a kiss to Tony’s hair. “I love you, Tony.”  
Tony looked up sleepily, brushing a slow, soft kiss to his new husband’s lips. “I love you too, Bucky. So much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if it was worth the wait. But there ya go!


End file.
